30 Rock

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Lady Lola: B | Grade It Now!
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Munchkins & Masochists

Down the hall, Jack pays a visit to his newest project, a.k.a. Frank. He has clasped onto their common fatherlessness as a jumping-off point. Frank would have preferred their mutual recurring dreams about being overpowered by a female bodybuilder, but Jack has made up his mind. Jack tells Frank he pulled some strings to get Frank a continuance of his law course studies at Columbia. He tells Frank to go out there and make his mother proud -- and also stick it to any potential unknown half-brothers and -sisters he might have. Frank is dumbfounded, claiming he has another life now. But Jack has made an offer that Frank cannot refuse.

Outside, Jack runs into Jamie Lynn and cringes, "Oh God, please don't be a daughter I didn't know about." Lemon joins them in the hallway and happily beckons preggers teen. Jack breathes a massive sigh of relief and scampers off. Lemon re-introduces her to Pete as TGS's new "Youth Consultant" and starts buttering her up for the fetus exchange. Pete skulks away from the shit show in progress, making "No, Lemon, no!" faces as he goes. Jamie Lynn's first piece of youth consulting is to get rid of that schlub Lutz.

Elsewhere, Jenna gives Kenneth a picture of the dress she's planning to wear to her birthday and requests that he make sure no one else wears it. Kenneth agrees and brings up Tracy's lack of a birthday. Jenna faux-sympathizes... right up until the point that Kenneth proposes she share her big birthday party with Tracy. Her face drops, but she musters up enough improv skill to shake her fists and squeakily cough out, "That's so great!"

In Lemon's office, Jamie Lynn keeps ranting about her deadbeat baby daddy, Tim, while Liz types random slang into her computer in order to translate her teen bop talk. Jamie Lynn breaks it down that she has two choices: Stay with Tim and keep the baby or... wait for it... focus on her music and give up the baby. She offers to play Lemon a song, and Lemon smarmily feigns enthusiasm. Jamie Lynn plays something involving cobwebs of rainbows. I have a feeling Avril Lavigne will be snatching this shit up, stat. Lemon continues not-so-subtly nudging JL toward giving up the baby in service of a doomed music career. Man, she's even better at this than Jenna. Less squeaking, mainly.

Later, Pete reads Lemon the riot act for manipulating Jamie Lynn into forfeiting her child to Lemon's baby-hungry machinations. Pete relates to Tim because he, too, was a young, stupid knocker-upper who ran away (five times) before forming some primordial bond with his Hornberger Five. He pleads with Lemon to give Jamie Lynn and Tim another shot.

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30 Rock

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