Then How Do You Explain 90210?
Lemon [spotting pregnant girl]: Becca!
Pete: What's she doing here?
Lemon: She is the show's new "Youth Consultant."
[wary look from Pete]
Lemon: It's a thing! The CW has one.
Take the Lead... Starring Jenna Maroney
Jenna: My heart goes out to all the inner city kids -- especially those too fat to dance their way out!
Lemon Shops at Talbots
Becca: I can't believe you don't have kids.
Lemon: What's that?
Becca: Well you'd make such a great mom. You're smart, successful, grounded...
Lemon: Oh, go on!
Becca: ...you already dress like a mom.
Lemon: Annnnd, stop.
At Least Homegirl Has Perspective
Jenna [seeing Tracy enter the birthday party]: What a schmo, entering first. Now I'm the headliner, and he's just the warm-up act. I'm Mr. Don Rickles, and he's just me.
See? Racial Wounds Can Be Healed!
Tracy: But I don't have a birthday!
Kenneth: You do now, 'cause we all love you and wanted you to feel this joy.
Tracy: I do feel it. You're all so amazing. And to think I was just calling y'all a bunch of racists!
Does It Come with a Bullet Proof Vest These Days?
Frank: Jack, I decided to take you up on your offer.
Jack: Good man -- and you went to my tailor. That's the same cut Reagan wore on the day he got shot.
Legalese for Dummies
Jack: And let me hear you say the seven most important words in the American judicial system.
Frank: "My client has no memory of that!"
Jack: I also would have also accepted "You can't prove that's the governor's semen."
Frank: One Day as Famous as Dr. Z!
Mama Rossitano: I am so proud of you -- a lawyer! Some day you'll have an ad on the subway -- in both English and Spanish!
Jack's Only Shot at a Danny Tanner Moment
Jack: Lemon, there was once a great American named George Henderson. He met a woodland ape, or Sasquatch, and, despite its dangerous message of environmentalism, became his friend. When the time came to do the hard thing and send it back into the forest where it belonged, and birds could perch on its shoulder because it was gentle, George Henderson summoned the strength, and by God, he did it! Did it hurt? You bet it hurt. Like a bastard. But he did it because it was the right thing to do... for the woodland ape. You think about that.