30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Greenzo

Jarrett's last real "gig" was in an attack ad for Rick Lazio's ill-fated Senate campaign, but things are different now, Jack tells Lemon. As NBC's environmental mascot Greenzo will be releasing an endangered falcon at halftime of the Knicks game and (as if that weren't enough) he's been booked onto The Today Show. His appearance goes swimmingly. He does the Greenzo dance for the kids, and when Meredith Viera tells him that he's saving the world, Greenzo slowly looks up as if realizing only for the first time how special he must be. Given the success of Greenzo's Today Show appearance, Jack asks Lemon to write some punchy material on the heels of Greenzo's smashing success.

Tina Fey ain't writing shit for you, Silverman! She's gonna fight for fair royalties and then maybe even go out with me!

Drunk on his crusade now, Greenzo begins policing the office for environmental infractions and tries to guilt-trip the staff for the sake of a better tomorrow. Greenzo kicks back in Lemon's office. She left her computer on because it takes a long time to reboot. "You know what else does?" Greenzo harangues. "Building a new earth." He's impassioned and lectures Lemon about environmental consciousness. Lemon, fed up, threatens to tell Jack. He reaches for the Styrofoam cup Lemon's holding and its contents, regrettably, spill all over Lemon's eight year old new blouse. Is this a bad time to point out that the NBC cafeteria is littered with Styrofoam? I swear I see seagulls in there sometimes. Greenzo is back on The Today Show, but now he wants to raise taxes on the super rich in order to end global warming in five years. GE's lost control of Greenzo. Back at Jack's office, Greenzo is reminded that the message is "non-judgmental business friendly" but Greenzo is unmoved by the corporate dog and pony act. Jack fires Greenzo who laughs, cape blowing in the suddenly present breeze, and asks rhetorically ,"Can you fire the wind? Can you fire a hurricane?" You can.

Jack has a solution though, now that he's ditched Greenzo -- a bigger guest star. In walks Academy Award- and Nobel Peace Prize-winning, former V.P. Al Gore, looking as handsomely starched as any ex-politician could hope to. Despite his rep as a mannequin, I've always thought Al had a nice, dry wit. For me, he scored in his Saturday Night Live appearance. He's not quite that on the mark here, but at least he's not Kerry. He's happy to be helping NBC out with their exciting new car that runs on trash. When he finds out it's all under false pretenses, he lectures Jack very wonkishly and then...superhero pause...he takes his leave after hearing the silent alarm of a whale in trouble. Greenzo shows up uninvited, ready to fulfill his civic duty to the environment, but while tussling with Jack, a beach ball in the form of the globe catches on fire in the middle of the stage. The earth is burning! The earth burns.

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30 Rock

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