Back at 30 Rock, Pete takes Kenneth to task for giving a terrible tour to the Kabletown head honchos. Kenneth explains that he intentionally did poorly on the tour so he wouldn't have to move to Los Angeles. "Everyone there smiles creepily all the time," he says, "and that's sort of my thing!" Pete tells him he went too far and is getting fired. Kenneth sadly hands in his badge and his gun. Wait, what?

At the reception, Nancy places the table card in front of Jack. He immediately apologizes for the embarrassing oversight, but she'd rather hear the truth. She knows why Jack loves her, but why does he love Avery? He tries to pacify her anger by saying he likes how Avery's "not as hot as" Nancy, but she's not biting. So he lists a number of reasons why he likes Avery, from her knowledge of the Dow to her deer huntin' skills, then he gets to the rub: "Her laugh is like music -- really mean music. And she always wears high heels because, according to her, flat shoes are for quitters." He thinks Nancy might actually like Avery, too. Nancy realizes that Jack really does love both her and Avery. She says that makes her feel better about leaving and tells Jack that Avery's at the wedding. And that Avery's pregnant. She tells him it's fate.

Elsewhere, Wesley strides in and screams at Lemon's assigned groomsman -- who's also a sword-wielding Somali pirate -- to unhand his fiancée. He calls Lemon out for ending their engagement with a text, saying her behavior "has been as weak as American tea." Jenna is thrilled about Lemon's pending nuptials -- mainly because she wants to have a sluts-themed bachelorette party. But Lemon calls the engagement off and begins a grand speech about how she realizes now that fate was only pushing her together so that she could meet Carol. Even though she's only known him a few hours, she thinks Carol's the one, and she's confident that he will be okay with her "disgusting foot secret." She tells Wesley that he, the TGS moms and Buzz Aldrin were wrong: People don't have to settle. She says goodbye to Wesley and sends praise to the universe that love is real. He snits that it's her loss, saying "there's only one Wesley Snipes in this world." Lemon reminds him of that other one, and he mutters curses to himself on the way out.