Love for Mommies
Jack: What can I say, Nancy? I want to be with you. I want to take naps with you. I want to watch you watch a hockey game. I want to find long red hairs in my overcooked pot roast. I love you. I do love you because you know that who I really am is a poor mama's boy from Sandchester, Massachusetts, who had to wear his sister's hand-me-down corduroys.
Nancy: They were orange and had hearts for pockets.
Jack: And you like me anyway!
Nancy: Yeah, I get it, Jack, but what are you gonna do about it? I can't share you with another woman like you're that Mormon guy on HBO who was in the tornado movie -- the one with the girl with the forehead and was married to that Jew guy.
Nancy: I'm a mom, give me a break!
Jenna: Paul? [Is shocked at the sight of his Cher costume.] What are you doing?
Paul: I thought you were going to get your hair done for your friend's wedding.
Jenna: I was, but I forgot my bag of hair. Is this who you're into now? Cher?! You're being another woman behind my back?
Paul: It's not what it looks like.
Jenna: Spare me your lame excuses. Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but when a girl dates a straight guy who impersonates her onstage for mostly gay audiences, she has certain expectations. Fidelity, Paul. It's not just the name of a bank that sued me.
This Week in Tracy Tips: Career 101
Tracy: California? No way, Ken! You gotta tank this promotion. Do a sloppy job, and they'll leave you alone. That's how I got out of foreplay with Angie... and my taxes.
Kenneth: But that's not in my nature.
Tracy: If you've learned anything from me, it's how to do a bad job. Go. Honor me. Save yourself. But first get me a sandwich!
Kenneth: Get it yourself, chubs. I'm on a coffee break.
Tracy: That's my boy!
An Introduction Fit for a Queen
Jack: Jack Donaghy.
Paul: Paul Lastname, Jenna's boyfriend.
Jack: Oh, I've heard a lot about you, Paul.
Paul: Well, it's all true: I'm a native of Houston, and I love to cook healthy.
Jack: And the female impersonator stuff?
Paul: Oh, sure, of course.
Jack and Paul Have Two Things in Common, Apparently
Paul: Do you think it's possible to love two women at once.
Jack: I know it's possible. But at some point, you have to choose, Paul. You can't delude yourself with thoughts like, "What if I could somehow combine them into one perfect woman?" Like a s'more you could take a shower with.
Paul: But how do you know if you've made the right decision?
Jack: You don't. You'll always be wondering what your life would have been like if you'd opened that other door.
Paul: Like at a haunted house sex party?