Picking up seeming ages after Jack's "Stall, darn you, stall!" text, Lemon is still killing time at Floyd's wedding by playing Mad Libs with the Bible and displaying her surprisingly broad knowledge of Duggar-evoking church camp songs. Eventually Jack commits to Nancy, and Lemon is allowed to stop her charade. All the better to pick up where she left off in her ill-conceived charade with Wesley. Between Floyd's and Cerie's weddings, Wesley remembers he left his tuxedo shoes in his old office and asks Lemon to retrieve them for him, lest there be Taser incident. While there, a pilot named Carol (Matt Damon) stops in to settle a workman's comp claim. Despite having no experience in insurance, Lemon fills in just long enough to learn that he shares her disdain for flip-flops in church and thinks TGS is the greatest thing since sliced bread -- especially her "Fart Doctor" sketch. It's love at first flattery. So she invites him to Cerie's wedding. Wesley becomes possessive, prompting Lemon to make a grand speech about how fate does exist after all: If it weren't for Wesley's misplaced shoes, she would never have met the man of her dreams, with whom she plans to spend the rest of her life, and who she is certain will love her in spite of her disgusting foot secret. Naturally, Carol isn't meant to hear any of this. When he does, Lemon's TMI is a little too much. He nearly preempts their lifetime of bliss by leaving to spend his layover in the Chili's at LaGuardia but fortunately thinks better of it and returns to try loving Lemon, warts (I'm assuming) and all.
Jack's relief at settling his dilemma is short-lived when Avery shows up at Cerie's wedding. As bad luck would have it, before finding Jack she runs into Nancy in the women's bathroom and -- spurred on by the Dodecacil hormone rush -- unknowingly cries on the shoulder of her nemesis. Nancy spies a place card shortly after and learns that the Avery Jessup she just comforted is also her main competition. She confronts Jack and has him explain his love for Avery, then tenders her forfeiture and spills the news that Avery is knocked up. Avery finally finds Jack, and they decide they make a real-deal, no-nonsense couple even in the face of unanticipated circumstances and should accept their fate as power parents -- and maybe sue the pants off of Dodecacil.
Meanwhile Jenna finds herself embroiled in her own love triangle when she finds her boyfriend Paul has abandoned his "'Gina" get-up and is now donning Cher-wear circa 1989. Paul encounters Jack at Cerie's wedding, and Jack advises him that it's just not possible to love two women at once, even if you wish you could combine them into one perfect high-maintenance diva. Or is it? Paul shows up to Grizz's wedding (remember how that's happening today, too?) representing 'Gina on his left side and Cher on his right. With that kind of ability to compromise for love, they might just be the happiest 3.5 people in the whole world!
And Kenneth learns that Jack has secured him a prestigious spot as the Junior In-Charge Boy for NBC's Page program. He's overjoyed at the accolade, then adamantly opposed to it when he learns the program is in Los Angeles. ("Everyone there smiles creepily all the time -- and that's sort of my thing!") Tracy advises Kenneth to secure his release from the program by screwing up his current job. He assures Kenneth that it's freed him from the burdens of foreplay and taxes in the past, so what could go wrong? Except Kenneth does such a good bad job that he alienates an entire tour of Kabletown execs, who demand he be fired. So he shows up tanked to Grizz's wedding and launches into the nicest drunk rant ever and ends with a one-finger salute. By which I mean a thumbs-up, because there literally isn't a mean bone in this manboy's body.
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We join Lemon, still at Floyd's wedding and struggling to stall, per Jack's request, with various Biblical-passage MASH games. In the pews, Nancy reams out Jack for stepping out on her and falling in love with the other lady. She doesn't think it's possible, but he points to the timeless triangle of Archie, Veronica, and Betty. He tries to smooth things over by telling her she looks amazing in her dress. She snarls back that he looks like a gay mortician in his suit.
Over at 30 Rock, Pete tells Kenneth about his thankless job. For example, today (Saturday) he's been called in to give a tour to a bunch of suits from Kabletown. At this, he mimes shooting himself in the head, complete with sound effects. Kenneth is so horrified that Pete has to assure him it's not real. He gets to the point, saying he's normally the go-to bad news guy, but today he has a bit of good news: Kenneth has been selected for the prestigious position of Junior In-Charge Boy of NBC's entire Page program. Kenneth is jubilant at the honor, which is truly a dream come true. He's especially excited to get the news from his "Best Friend in the Whole World, comma, Bald category." Then Pete says Kenneth will have to move to Los Angeles. Upon hearing he'll have to leave behind all of his best friends, he says he'll pass on the opportunity. Pete tells him Jack nominated him for the promotion, so he'll have to talk to him. Kenneth says he'll be happy to take it up with his "Best Friend in the Whole World, comma, Beautiful Hair category, parentheses Strong."
Back at the wedding, Lemon falls back on her extensive knowledge of improvisation and Vacation Bible Study campfire songs. Floyd and his ab model wife-to-be shoot her increasingly harried looks. Jack continues trying to convince Nancy of his love for her. She refuses to share him with anyone else and asks if he's in or out. He says he's in. And not a moment too soon because Lemon just tapped into her falsetto range. Credits.
Meanwhile, Jenna enters her apartment and surprises her boyfriend-slash-impersonator Paul, who is in full Cher "If I Could Turn Back Time" drag. She can't believe he's drag-cheating on her with another diva. He claims he loves them both equally, but she tells him he has to choose. Paul calls out to her, "Jenna, babe, wait!" Only he can't catch himself from putting Cher's vibrato staccato intonation into the words. Jenna turns around to give him an icy stare as he apologizes, "I'm sorry, that came out wrong." Jenna storms off in a huff.