30 Rock

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Aisle Be Damned

We join Lemon, still at Floyd's wedding and struggling to stall, per Jack's request, with various Biblical-passage MASH games. In the pews, Nancy reams out Jack for stepping out on her and falling in love with the other lady. She doesn't think it's possible, but he points to the timeless triangle of Archie, Veronica, and Betty. He tries to smooth things over by telling her she looks amazing in her dress. She snarls back that he looks like a gay mortician in his suit.

Over at 30 Rock, Pete tells Kenneth about his thankless job. For example, today (Saturday) he's been called in to give a tour to a bunch of suits from Kabletown. At this, he mimes shooting himself in the head, complete with sound effects. Kenneth is so horrified that Pete has to assure him it's not real. He gets to the point, saying he's normally the go-to bad news guy, but today he has a bit of good news: Kenneth has been selected for the prestigious position of Junior In-Charge Boy of NBC's entire Page program. Kenneth is jubilant at the honor, which is truly a dream come true. He's especially excited to get the news from his "Best Friend in the Whole World, comma, Bald category." Then Pete says Kenneth will have to move to Los Angeles. Upon hearing he'll have to leave behind all of his best friends, he says he'll pass on the opportunity. Pete tells him Jack nominated him for the promotion, so he'll have to talk to him. Kenneth says he'll be happy to take it up with his "Best Friend in the Whole World, comma, Beautiful Hair category, parentheses Strong."

Back at the wedding, Lemon falls back on her extensive knowledge of improvisation and Vacation Bible Study campfire songs. Floyd and his ab model wife-to-be shoot her increasingly harried looks. Jack continues trying to convince Nancy of his love for her. She refuses to share him with anyone else and asks if he's in or out. He says he's in. And not a moment too soon because Lemon just tapped into her falsetto range. Credits.

Meanwhile, Jenna enters her apartment and surprises her boyfriend-slash-impersonator Paul, who is in full Cher "If I Could Turn Back Time" drag. She can't believe he's drag-cheating on her with another diva. He claims he loves them both equally, but she tells him he has to choose. Paul calls out to her, "Jenna, babe, wait!" Only he can't catch himself from putting Cher's vibrato staccato intonation into the words. Jenna turns around to give him an icy stare as he apologizes, "I'm sorry, that came out wrong." Jenna storms off in a huff.

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30 Rock

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