30 Rock

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Aisle Be Damned

Unfortunately for Lemon, the triumph of her epiphanies is dulled when she turns around to find Carol behind her. He heard everything and is not lovin' the TMI. He excuses himself to seek comfort in a basket of baby back ribs. Wow, he and Lemon really are perfect for each other.

Across the room, CW-esque emo music plays as Avery descends the stairs toward Jack. Jack finally gets annoyed and asks Radio Man, who's sitting nearby, to turn his boom box down. Radio Man cuts off the clichéd tunes, says "Mazel tov," and makes his way out. Jack tells Avery he wants to get married, but she's not so quick to accept his gallant proposal. She hadn't planned on being pregnant for another two years and is thinking about suing Dodecacil, Jack and their unborn child. He tells her that fate has intervened. She says she doesn't want this if he's just trying to do the right thing. He assures her he has always wanted this. To seal the deal, he pulls a little reverse psychology and says maybe it'll be too hard for her to balance motherhood and a career, as well as stay tight for the camera like Soledad O'Brien. "I wipe the floor with that bitch!" shouts Avery. And it's settled.

Some time later, a dashiki-clad Lemon does her on riff on Corinthians 13:4, including that love is weird and sometimes gross, in her toast to Grizz and Feyoncé. Tracy busts in to thank Jack for allowing the wedding to take place at Studio 6H since "the other location couldn't support the weight of Grizz's extended family." The guests hit the floor to dance, while Lemon and Jenna hit the bar to drink away their troubles. Lemon moans about blowing her shot with Carol, then wonders if she can make a go of it with the Somali pirate. "I could live on a boat," she muses. Jenna says she hasn't even seen Paul and fears that he made his choice. Lemon says they should swear off men, which Jenna interprets as bicuriosity. Lemon was thinking more along the lines of a knitting circle. Jenna swears her allegiance to sisterhood for about 0.75 seconds before she spots Paul across the room.

She walks over to Paul in Cher drag, saying, "You have a lot of taped-up balls to come her dressed like that!" He turns toward her to reveal that he's split himself down the middle. On his right side, he's Cher. On his left, he's 'Gina Baloney. Dear God, I didn't realize something could be more horrifying than Jenna making out with herself. Throw Cher into the mix, and I think my brain is oozing out of my ears... Paul tells Jenna that the relationship won't work if it's all about her. He tells her he's the man, so she must respect him. Jenna digs this new side of Paul and tells him "Yes, shma'am."

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30 Rock

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