30 Rock
I Heart Connecticut

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Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Chasing Tracy

Out in the corridor, Jack notes that Lemon looks like Hell. She explains that she was spending the day thinking like Tracy in an effort to find where he's hiding. The results were predictably disastrous. Her last hope is to get Jeremy the lizard and hope Tracy calls to wish him a happy birthday.

Jack finds Jenna in her dressing room. She informs him that Connecticut is home to the oldest public library in the United States. He wonders, "Could you use that to motivate Slaughterface sewing the sheriff's mouth to his own anus?" Jenna types away furiously. Jack deems her work elegant but asks if "vaginatorium" should be capitalized.

Pete and Frank leave work for the day. Along the way, Pete sees Reggie at one of the doors. He brags about how he's going to humiliate Reggie in front of all his meathead buddies. Frank thinks Pete's like a new man. "I am," affirms Pete. "Last night I had sex with Paula, and neither one of us was wearing a Walkman." They continue looking at Reggie disdainfully until they notice his ex-wife come up and publicly berate him for being a broke loser. Pete comments, "Never thought I'd feel sorry for a guy with a tattoo of a leprechaun vomiting on a book."

Jenna resumes filming, only now there's a "Visit Connecticut" poster on the wall behind her, the latest murder victim is wearing a UConn Huskies T-shirt, and the blood splatter on the wall now reads, "www.IHeartConnecticut.com." Slaughterface enters the room, revealing a Yale banner and a postcard-style Connecticut poster behind him. He tells her ominously, "No one's coming to save you... because we're deep inside one of Connecticut's 30 beautiful state forests. Thirty!" Jenna begs, "Oh please, don't kill me. I still haven't tried the famous seafood pizza at Sally's in New Haven!" The director yells cut and tells them to move on to the scene where Slaughterface Santa beats Jenna to the docent to the Danbury Railway Museum. Jack busts in, telling them to hold off because he's just convinced Wal-Mart to sponsor the movie, as long as it is a family-friendly, wholesome production. He tells them the production will be profitable and calls Jenna to her dressing room to continue writing.

Down in the studio, Pete calls Reggie aside. He tells him he knows what it's like for your kids to think you're a loser. He offers to throw the arm wrestling match to save Reggie some face. "You know what your wife told me in the shower this morning?" Reggie asks. "You're a good guy!"

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30 Rock

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