Lemon is overjoyed to see her book, Dealbreakers, has hit the stores. That is, until every man in New York starts blaming her for ruining their relationships by exposing their shitty behavior. Frank, Pete, a custodian, and even the bookstore clerk express their annoyance with Lemon. But Tracy, as usual, is the one to voice his discontentment with the most gusto. After his wife Angie kicks him out based on dealbreakers that Lemon has stolen from Tracy's oddball behavior, he bunks up with Lemon. In the midst of this, Jenna is still pouting about the new cast member. She announces she's flying to Iceland in the middle of the work week to film a werewolf movie. Yes, Iceland. The country where they have 24-hour sunshine.
Just when Lemon thinks it can't get any worse, Tracy brings back dozens of dogs that Kenneth frenziedly adopted while volunteering at the animal shelter. She takes the matter upstairs to Jack, who gives Tracy legal ownership over Lemon's life rights and tells Lemon to dig down deep to get herself out of this mess. She decides the only way to placate Tracy is to write a porn parody of her own life and let him direct. Inadvertently, this feeds Jenna's ego, and she finally stops acting out like an extension-clad, teeth-whitened toddler.
All the while, Jack is called down to Washington D.C. to defend himself and the company in front of a microwave task force. He gets down there only to discover that his arch nemesis, Devon Banks, is heading up the board. Devon reveals to Jack that he's spent the last year climbing the ranks on Capitol Hill, waiting for this very moment to take Jack down. Jack enlists an in-house engineer and the TGS writers to save the company by inventing the world's greatest microwave oven. As you might imagine, this task takes on Frankenstein-ian proportions and ultimately crashes and burns. At the last minute, Jack realizes that he can save the company by taking a bail-out check, thus making Devon (and the government) his immediate superior. The top to his bottom, if you will. Let the HoYay! begin.
Lemon walks down the street and passes a bookstore. Inside she sees, among other things, Dr. Spaceman's book, The Cigarette Diet, and her book, Dealbreakers. She proudly knocks on the window, where a clerk is sorting the books. She proudly screams through the glass that she's Liz Lemon, the author of the book. He turns around grimly and opens it to a certain page, then presses it to the window. Lemon reads the intended passage: "If your man is over 30 and still wears a name tag to work, that's a dealbreaker!" Pan to his name tag. She's all, "But not you, Mike!" Cringe... He picks up her life-size cutout and starts pummeling it violently, finally ripping off its head and smashing it into the storefront window. Quoth Lemon, "Blammo! Another successful interaction with a man!" Credits.
30 Rock. Lemon walks into Jack's office as he promises Don Geist he'll go see Fonzie's jacket at the Smithsonian while he's in D.C. He hangs up, and Lemon asks him to pick up her retainer (left behind on a junior high field trip) while he's down there, as well. Then she presents him a copy of her book. She mouths along proudly as he reads his blurb about the book aloud: "Lemon numbers among my employees." Such fond words! Jonathan comes in to get him ready for his bus to D.C. This includes collecting all his valuables, pinning an American flag on his lapel, and affixing J.C. Penney tags into his $8,000 suits. He says he has to attend a task force for the declining microwave industry, but he refuses to take corporate handouts. So it's to the Chinatown bus for him! Jack notes that Lemon left her retainer at the Air & Space Museum, then heads out.
Downstairs, Lemon runs into Frank, who starts spouting off at her about how her book is ruining his dating life. She shakes her head at his whopping five dealbreakers and walks on. She runs into Kenneth, who asks to take some time off for his charity work. Among other organizations, Kenneth helps animals not expose their bums and surveils no-goodniks in a 1984-style secret police program. Lemon approves the time off and continues on her merry way, as Kenneth writes who-knows-what in a notebook.
Next, she runs into Jenna, who boasts that she's been cast for a Twilight-esque movie that is filming in Iceland. She says filming starts that night. When Lemon says she has rehearsal tomorrow, Jenna pointedly remarks that Lemon should just get the new cast member to cover for her. Lemon says that Jenna shouldn't punish her over Jack's decision to bring on new actors. "Punish you? Please, Liz," says Jenna. "I've just always wanted to shoot a student werewolf movie in Iceland where I'm filling in last-minute for Victoria Beckham."