30 Rock

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One-Hit Blunders
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30 Rock. Lemon marches proudly into the writers' room and announces that she has broken up with Carol. Jenna asks in horror why Lemon, who is wearing exclusively sweatpants, is carrying a cat. And rocking a fanny pack. And holding up her ponytail with a chip clip. Lemon informs her that she's given up. She says she did the math and realizes that her window of opportunity to meet Mister Right has closed. She had three times chances -- Floyd, Carol, and that one time she was in the elevator with Tom Brokaw -- and she blew them all. She hopes she can make a graceful transition into spinsterhood, though I'm pretty sure that, by definition, such a thing is impossible. Naturally, her new kitty's name is Emily Dickinson.

Jack strides in a few steps before stopping dead in his tracks. He notes the signs of Lemon's "change of life" and pop-quizzes her: What's the name of the lead detective on NCIS? When she rattles off Jethro Gibbs like he's a member of the family, Jack calls her into her office for a word alone. She tells him she's taken the money she had saved up for her honeymoon and purchased a cemetery plot. She informs him she also joined a book club at the senior center near her home. The first book is Murder on the Orient Express. He tells her there's a movie, so she immediately tosses the book in the trash. He says he'd like to help with her current crisis, but he's got his own problem brewing, since Avery's maternity leave was cut short and she was sent to Greece. He's especially harried because he has an important meeting to negotiate NBC's licensing fees with Kabletown this week. Then his phone buzzes, and he has to run home to drop off the check for his nanny. He concedes that she runs his household, so it's a delicate relationship, "which means keeping quiet while your DVR fills up with Trinidadian soap operas." He promises to take care of "this... whole... dysfunction" (a.k.a. Lemon) once he's got less stuff on his plate. She assures him there's nothing to take care of, then says, "Watch this! I can fit Emily Dickinson's whole head in my mouth!" Credits.

Over in the studio, Frank finds Pete looking wishfully at the set-up a band sent over. They both sigh at the awesome rock star life, which Pete claims he once lived for three months in the early '80s when he played guitar for Loverboy. He faced a crossroads when he was awarded with a college scholarship to study TV budgeting. He made his choice, and his rock star days are in the past. Frank tells him "It's never too late." Pete is struck by a notion. He starts strumming and singing, "It's never too late... it's never too late... it's never too late for now!" Frank takes to the keys, and Pete carries on: "Yesterday's dreams are gone, but today I'm singin' this song..." They sing together -- badly -- "'Cause it's never too late, never too late, it's never too late for now." Frank thinks they should start a band. Pete thinks they just did.

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30 Rock

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