30 Rock

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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One-Hit Blunders

Bonus! The world premiere of Sound Mound's second single "Weekend Woman." Yet more lyrics: "'Cause she's a weekend lady, she's got that weekend style. Temperature's risin', she's gonna make you smile. Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, uh-uh, uh-uh. Friday, Saturday, kinda Sunday, and holiday Mondays, uh-huh-huh! She's a weekend woman, gonna make her mine. Gonna make it the weekend all the tiiiiiiiiiime!"

Well, those lyrics are a hard act to follow, but hopefully cold tampons and bathroom booze-o-ramas will suffice...

Baby Names & 15 Minutes of Fame
Jack: I want to help you, Lemon, but this is not the week. Avery's maternity leave has been cut short so she could go cover the collapse of Greece's banking system. Since inventing democracy, those guys have been... coasting
Lemon: So you're all alone with baby Liz?
Jack: We're calling her Liddy after Liddy Dole, G. Gordon Liddy, and my martial arts instructor Lid Y. In addition, I have a huge presentation coming up. Meeting magazine is already calling it "the first great meeting of the decade." I have to be at my best. I'm negotiating NBC's licensing fees with Kabletown.
Lemon: But aren't NBC and Kabletown the same company now? That sounds like a pretty big conflict of interest. Why would the government even allow that merger?
Jack: It's okay, don't worry. You just keep watching Bridalplasty.
Lemon: Alissena died last week!

From Axe to Tampax
Pete: We're recording a song called "It's Never Too Late for Now." It's about that delicious little mystery I call life.
Lemon: Oh my God, that sucks. Come on, we're going to editing.
Pete: No, I'm not going to editing. I'm in here shredding away like a righteous axe master! ...And my arthritis is acting up. Do you have any ibuprofen?
Lemon: My fanny pack is in my office, in my mini-fridge. I like my tampons to be cold.

And... Payoff
Jack: Lemon, I am supposed to represent NBC in a negotiation that Rex Belcher of the American Magazine of Meetings rated four chairs. Four!
Lemon: I'm sorry, is that another magazine about meetings?

Bathroom Boozin'
Anders: I recognized your hair from across the room. Is that chestnut?
Lemon: Oh, it's actually called "Grandfather's Shoe."
Anders: Can I get you a drink? I'm having white wine with ice cubes and Sprite.
Lemon: That's my drink! I keep a thermos of it by my toilet! [Catches herself.] You misheard me!

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30 Rock

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