30 Rock

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Jack Gets In The Game

At first, I thought we were going for a Van Halen punchline
Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, can't you just apologize?
Tracy: No! Things have been said that can't be taken back! She called my license plate "inscrutable"!
[Cut to an SUV with a New York plate reading "ICU81MI."]
Tracy: "I see you ate one. Am I?" Hilarious! Angie is in the past, like Dracula and broadcast television.

Fresh off a plane from the Renfrew clinic ...
Dr. Spaceman: Now, Jenna, medically speaking, for your height, your weight puts you in what we call "the disgusting range."
Jenna: [sigh]
Dr. Spaceman: Fortunately, there are solutions. Crystal meth has been shown to be very effective.
Jenna: [thoughtfully] Hmmm.
Dr. Spaceman: [holding up "You Do the Meth!" pamphlet] How important is tooth retention to you?
Jenna: It's pretty important. What about my crazy surgical options, Dr. Spaceman?

Then again, teeth are overrated
Liz: [on a roll] We are going to dare America to change their attitudes about body image.
Frank: Why do you have to make everything into an issue? Don't you have things to do in your own life?
Liz: At least I don't live with my mom -- ow!
Frank: Hey, my mom's cool.
Liz: I've got my life together, okay?
A molar comes tumbling out of her mouth.

Today, you become a lycanthrope: Tracy: And here's the gold record from my novelty party song ...
Flashback to...
Tracy: [singing his novelty song while dressed like Michael Jackson in "Thriller"] Werewolf bar mitzvah, very spooky / boys becoming men / men becoming wolves.

Why, Mr. Parcell. Are you trying to seduce me?
Kenneth: [hoping to provoke Tracy into a fit of jealous reconciliation with his wife] Hello, Angie. I hear you're single now. That's cool.
Angie: What?
Kenneth: I like your top. I'm a real good sex person. I do it all the different ways.
Angie: Uh-huh. [Tracy looks over, intrigued. She sees this.] Well. I don't have a husband anymore, so you can come over any time.
Kenneth. I will. I'll come over at night!

It's the condensed, atheist version of Breaking the Waves
Tracy: Hey, Kenneth!
Kenneth: You're up early, Mr. Jordan.
Tracy: I only got eleven or twelve hours of sleep last night. I've got something on my mind grapes I need to talk to you about.

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30 Rock

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