Secrets of the Very Fabulous
Lemon: Oh, what's the special occasion?
Emily [hands her a glass of champagne]: A weekday.
Lemon: Wow, so this is normal? This is like your version of sweat pants and Pop-Tarts? Not too shabz.
Lyle: Short for shabby. Huh-larious!
Emily: This could be your life, too, Liz. Just short the housing market.
Erin: Or write a cookbook specifically for mixed-race children.
Jenny: Or marry a rich old dude who dies. Clive, I wanna say?
Lyle: Or have mild Lupus and great insurance.

Ironically, She Still Looks Younger Than Ali Lohan
Jenna: First a backpack upstages me. Then the paparazzi kept calling me "Dina Lohan." And now the Cyrus family's decided to rock a bunch of funky hats!
Jack: You can't give up now. Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up when those vampires attacked Woodstocks?

Jenna Went Camping?
Jack: Now, you just need to stay dead while I sell the movie.
Jenna: Oh, I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.

TMI
Lemon: Eating right, working out, sleeping -- is anybody else BM-ing like a rock star?

Tracy Morgan: Making Tranny Dreams Come True Since 2009
Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, it's Friday. We really need to tell Mr. Hornberger that the dancers quit.
Tracy: No we don't. He's not even gonna notice that they're gone. These are the new dancers, Ken. Say hi to Velvet.
Kenneth: Hello, Miss Velvet.
Tracy: Just think -- An hour ago, they were brawling in a parking lot but tonight, they're gonna be stars!

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