Lemon can't return to work until she completes sexual harassment rehab with smarmy, bad-joke-telling HR minion Jeffrey Weinerslave. [Unlike Dr. Spaceman, his name is pronounced just like it looks. - Zach] She starts jonesin' pretty bad for the TSG crazy train, until she meets a Lady Who Lunches, who offers a few new addictions: spa-ing, shopping and boozing, specifically. She gets so accustomed to being a woman of leisure that she sexually harasses Weinerslave to avoid returning to work. Jack tries to convince her that this life of flat-ironed hair and yogalates is unsustainable for a go-getter like her, but Lemon brushes off his warnings... until she learns that the first rule of socialite life is you don't talk about socialite life. Yeah, the divorcées formed a Flight Club. Lemon and her black eyes return to TGS quickly thereafter.
Jenna's Janis Joplin (or, as they are legally bound to call her, Jackie Jormp-Jomp) biopic is derailed, so she and Jack go to a kiddie awards show to stir up some publicity. A miscommunication lands Jenna in the "In Memoriam" reel, so Jack seizes on the idea that, like, Tupac Shakur, Jenna will be exponentially more popular in death than in life. His plan goes swimmingly until Jenna spots her real birth date on an RIP placard and hijacks her own TGS memorial show to sing a Gaga-esque acoustic version of "Muffin Top."
In totally relegated C-plot, the staff (thanks to Lemon) has to conform to the company's sexual harassment policies. This causes some friction between Kenneth and Dot-Com when they both pursue Sheinhardt-approved relationships with the same dancer on TGS. Tracy intervenes and fires the girl, which causes the other dancers to become angry and strike just hours before the show. Since Lemon isn't around to clean up his mess, Tracy hires some trannies to dance. Everybody wins!
We open on a bunch of Lester Molesters and Lemon. She's muddling through her GE-mandated sexual harassment rehab since her fruitless attempt to barter sex for money. She testily asks HR minion Jeffrey Weinerslav (pronounced exactly as you think) how she can speed up the process and get back to work. Instead of answering her, he riffs on her question to provide a for-example of what Sheinhardt Universal considers work-appropriate. Lemon rolls her eyes while some crazy redhead cackles away, scheming how she can become Mrs. Weinerslav, if you know what I mean.
Elsewhere, Jack enters Jenna's dressing room to talk to her about her Janis Joplin biopic. Jenna is overjoyed because she immediately thinks that the producers got Janis's life rights and can use her real name now, instead of Jeana Jimplin. Au contraire says Jack. They couldn't even get that name, so now the character will be called "Jackie Jormp-Jomp." Jack gets to the point -- focus group screenings of the film have been met with resounding disapproval. Something to do with having no rights to Janis Joplin's name or music? Not even Jackie's Obama-predicting "Woodstocks" duet with Jimi Hendrix could save it! Realizing the box office of Sing Dem Blues, White Girl: The Jackie Jormp-Jomp Story is at stake, Jack advises Jenna she needs to stir up some buzz for the movie. Realizing her Oscar nomination is at stake, Jenna agrees. She even offers to leak a sex tape. Jack says it'll be simpler than that. She can attend the Kids' Choice Awards to talk up the project. Jenna agrees to set aside her Cheetah Girl feud for that one day. Credits.
Down the hall, Kenneth catches Lemon sneaking into work. He sees the frenzy in her eyes and pulls out his rape whistle. She tries to talk him down, but the shrilling has already begun. Jack intervenes, telling Lemon that she's supposed to go home after her "pervert seminars." Lemon admits that she misses the craziness because being home is worse. Jack acknowledges a kindred spirit in Lemon. They are both Type A personalities that need stress to function. Lemon reluctantly agrees and makes her way back home.
In the writers' room, Frank and the others groan about the new company-enforced sexual harassment rules. They specifically take issue with a stipulation that all office relationships must be declared. Kenneth lets slip that he hasn't read the rules, thanks to a certain frisky Today Show co-anchor. And I'm not talkin' about Lauer and, surprisingly, not Kathie Lee, either. Frank spies Cerie and starts acting strange.