[new door(wo)man arrives]
Lemon: We have a show tonight. I've never missed a show -- not even the time I had that virus they kept saying only raccoons get. I can't believe I'm not there.
[Door opens, and door(wo)man scurries off to carry her groceries]
Lemon: Hey! I've picked up some Polish from you guys. [Jovially screams Polish for "Please shut up, lady!"]
Gives New Meaning to Lunch "On the Go"
Lemon: I'm on leave right now for normal reasons.
Emily: And you're feeling a little lost?
Lemon: I am! Right now I should be standing in a toilet stall so nobody bothers me while I eat lunch. God, I miss it!
Page by Day, Craniometrist by Night
Jack: I am not your immediate supervisor. There are perhaps 40 people between us. Pete, for instance.
Kenneth: Ohhhh, I just don't trust Mr. Hornberger, sir. He has a ridge on the section of the skull associated with deviousness.
Secrets of the Very Fabulous
Lemon: Oh, what's the special occasion?
Emily [hands her a glass of champagne]: A weekday.
Lemon: Wow, so this is normal? This is like your version of sweat pants and Pop-Tarts? Not too shabz.
Lyle: Short for shabby. Huh-larious!
Emily: This could be your life, too, Liz. Just short the housing market.
Erin: Or write a cookbook specifically for mixed-race children.
Jenny: Or marry a rich old dude who dies. Clive, I wanna say?
Lyle: Or have mild Lupus and great insurance.
Ironically, She Still Looks Younger Than Ali Lohan
Jenna: First a backpack upstages me. Then the paparazzi kept calling me "Dina Lohan." And now the Cyrus family's decided to rock a bunch of funky hats!
Jack: You can't give up now. Did Jackie Jormp-Jomp give up when those vampires attacked Woodstocks?
Jenna Went Camping?
Jack: Now, you just need to stay dead while I sell the movie.
Jenna: Oh, I can play dead. I watched my whole church group get eaten by a bear.
Lemon: Eating right, working out, sleeping -- is anybody else BM-ing like a rock star?
Tracy Morgan: Making Tranny Dreams Come True Since 2009
Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, it's Friday. We really need to tell Mr. Hornberger that the dancers quit.
Tracy: No we don't. He's not even gonna notice that they're gone. These are the new dancers, Ken. Say hi to Velvet.