30 Rock

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Late-Night Wars

Jack hangs up the phone. Khonani is sitting patiently in his office. Jack tells him they're going to have to handle this transition with Subhas very carefully. Khonani assures Jack that Subhas will want to leave so he can nurture his hobbies: "He collects classic car--" he coughs, "cardboard. Classic cardboard."

Tracy returns to his house in a tizzy that Kenneth failed to keep him from the strip club. He bemoans the fact that he can't change his ways. As he gets more and more worked up, his phone buzzes. It's Lemon telling him to unleash himself for her party tonight. He tells her he can't come because he has to take care of Angie. She begs him to change his mind so that she can prove to her co-workers she's not sour and boring and that she's worthy of being including. Tracy's frenzy is obviously catching. Lemon gets agitated enough to shriek out in German, "This party must go perfectly! They will regret disliking me!"

Tracy warns her about letting her party get out of hand. "Parties are like Frisbees," he warns her. "If you throw them the wrong way, they'll veer off in a bad direction, and then your kid will fall into a quarry!" He warns further warns her not to throw her party for vengeance: "It'll turn on you -- like your wife... after your kid has fallen into a quarry." Sounds like someone has some personal experience here. And that someone is not Lemon. She exasperatedly tells Tracy she doesn't need him and is going to have a great party with or without him. She hangs up with a face that suggests she knows that outcome is not possible.

On the other side, Tracy frets that a party needs saving, and he's the only one who can do it. Furthermore, he worries that his body will heed the call of a busted-ass party even if his mind knows he needs to attend to his pregnant wife. He reaches a solution: He will wear Tracy Sr.'s electric collar. It's the only way.

30 Rock. Jack is negotiating the terms of Khonani's move to 11:30 with Subhas. It gets ugly quick, so Jack diplomatically suggests they "reinvent the way people think about their nightly trash removal." He thinks if Subhas moves to 10:00 p.m., everyone will get what they want and he'll look like a genius and a hero. He even coins a term for this situation: Innoventing.

Tracy's house. The collar is officially on. Kenneth wonders how Tracy will stop himself from simply taking it off. Tracy tells him to pour glue in the lock, which is how his children keep him out of the liquor cabinet. Kenneth obliges and offers to stick around to make sure Tracy doesn't get into any hijinks. Tracy refuses, saying Kenneth needs to attend Lemon's party in his place. He takes off his "TJ" bling necklace and anoints Kenneth his rightful replacement. Kenneth starts out the door, but Tracy stops him, saying he doesn't "walk that well." Kenneth staggers out with a more Tracy-appropriate walk, which translates to my eyes as partial stroke victim. Po-tay-to, po-tah-to, I guess.

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30 Rock

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