30 Rock

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Late-Night Wars

Tracy's house. Just as Tracy is strolling closer to the car and thinking maybe the collar doesn't work on people, he gets the shock of his life. He crawls and lurches through the pain to retrieve Angie's medicine. As he grabs it, he realizes he's now free to do whatever he wants: "Like go to Lemon's party... or one of those places where you skydive off a huge fan." He thinks better of it and starts back to the house. He wonders if maybe the collar doesn't work on the other side. Then, zap! Yep, it does. He begins to bargain to the heavens to end the pain, yowling, "Oh God, if you deliver me from this, I promise every day of my life, I'll go to--" Suddenly, the pain stops. He gets up and brushes himself off, finishing, "Pizza Hut. I'll go to Pizza Hut!"

Lemon's. Everyone has fled into one room. Kenneth breathlessly tries to explain, but Pete cuts him off to point out that Lemon has corralled them into the one room without a fire escape. Everyone starts yelling at her, at which point Jenna mentions that Cerie didn't even come but sent a cardboard cutout in her place. Hence the stillness. Pete tells everyone to shut up so they can figure out what to do. He helplessly looks over at showrunner Lemon, and everyone else's gazes follow. She thinks it's a fine time to suddenly be part of the group. The guys explain to her that this is exactly why they like her -- she's good at solving problems, just not at being fun. Toofer tells her she's like the mom in this family. Lutz adds they need her "to make the monsters go away." Lemon tells them everything's going to be all right before fashioning herself an anti-mauling suit out of, among other things, a football helmet, a puffy jacket, and the jammies James Franco wore. She steps outside to face down the rabid dog while everyone else runs out the door. Pete stops to tell her it was a good party. Tracy Sr. drags her across the floor as she yells, "Everybody take some cupcakes!"

Bonus! Jenna offers Subhas her headshot in case he wants to put it his special book. He flatly rejects her, "You're not book!" Jack tells her that "wanting to be book is not book." Jenna walks off to console herself as Lemon approaches. She reminds him he's got a love triangle to address, proposing a "Top Gun high five for courage." Responds Jack, "Only because you look like you need it so badly." Lemon's fine with that, and they five it out.

You know what is "book?" Jokes.

Tracy Morgan Etiquette Rule #348

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30 Rock

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