Lemon: Hey, did you know that everyone here went out last night without us?
Tracy: Yeah, "Thursday Night Thunder," that's been going on for years.
Lemon: You know about it? How come I've never been invited. Don't you think that's a little bit rude?
Tracy: Well I yelled "Baba Booey" at Walter Cronkite's funeral, so I actually have no idea of what's rude or not.
Dame, She Looks Good!
Jack: Oh, wow. I haven't seen your brow that furrowed since you saw a picture of Helen Mirren in a bikini.
Lemon: How is it possible? Is she a wizard?
Lemon Lightens the Mood
Jack: This can't go on. I'm making a decision about Nancy and Avery today. I'm going in the bunker, no distractions. I had Jonathan remove the bar and my collection of 18th century French erotica... I've had to make some tough calls over the years: Switching Sheinhardt wig production to 100% Chinese cadaver hair, turning down Dick Cheney's offer to become King of Iraq, selecting the brand-new logo for NBC [Cue NBC chimes as Jack holds up a picture of the NBC peacock pimped out, urban-stylez, with a new logo]: "It's fresh!" But this Nancy-Avery thing is the toughest decision I've ever had to make.
Lemon: Well I'm glad you're taking it seriously. Although [takes on melodramatic soap opera voice], sometimes when you try so hard to find love, you can't see that it's been standing in front of you the whole time. [Rubs Jack's face with the back of her hand.]
Jack: Oh, good God, Lemon!
Don't Shoot the Parcell
Tracy [picks up the phone]: This better be important, I'm in a meeting.
Kenneth: Mr. Jordan! The situation here has... deteriorated.
Tracy: Great update, Ken. Thanks for checking in, talk to you later!
Kenneth: Actually, sir, I think you should come home. Mrs. Jordan said she's going to turn her rings around if she sees me again.
Jack: So what can I do for you?
Khonani: It has been a week sir, and I have heard nothing from you, sir. Have you forgotten our agreement? About me taking over 11:30?
Jack: I'm sorry, what?
Khonani: Five years ago, I threatened to quit unless you got me out of the late-night shift.
Jack: Wow. Other than some notable recent exceptions, NBC never guarantees employment terms five years in advance.
Khonani: I have a contract. [Rips a piece of paper with writing on it off an office paper towel roll.]