Frank Lucas High School. Tracy gives him inspirational graduation speech, and it is just as wackadoo, off-the-cuff, and counter-productive as you might imagine. Nonetheless, the principal gives him an honorary degree for coming back to speak. He clutches the diploma, bursts into bitch tears, and collapses on the stage -- thus reliving the exact shameful behavior that sent him running in the first place.
Back at 30 Rock, Jack wangles some more celebrities who owe him favors: Sheryl Crow and Adam Levine of Maroon 5. May I just say, God bless Sheryl for sitting on the same couch as his diseased crotch? Sheryl reminisces about playing a kidney in her fifth-grade play with some loser (yeah, that'd be Lemon). Jenna interrupts to ask Jack if she can be a part of the musical benefit. He lies that it didn't work out and introduces her to his "European friends." Jenna eyes them suspiciously.
Elsewhere, Lemon starts heading out to meet with a book agent for a Deal Breaker tome. She runs into Pete and Tracy, who ream her out for talking to their wives. She blows them off, repeating Jack's words about how TGS can't last forever. Tracy frantically turns to Pete: "Pete! How am I gonna live? I only have $300 million!"
Studio. Milton is wowed by Jack's efforts to get him a kidney. He says he's never seen anything like it -- and he was at "We Are the Pizza" (bah dum bum). Jack admits he felt like he let Milton down earlier, but Milton insists Jack could never let him down. They hug it out. Two of The Beastie Boys walk by and tell them to get a room. Wonder what Jack had on them.
Tracy's dressing room. He and the gang excitedly discuss how, now that Tracy's a high school graduate, he can go to college.
Out in the hall, Lemon and Jack walk toward the studio. She tells him about all the success she's seen (free sandwiches!) since coining "deal breaker." He approves that she's "getting hers." Lemon looks at the set and is amazed what Jack pulled together for Milton. She even spots Sheryl Crow, her BFF from elementary school (har har). Jack says that Milton is his father, and this was his duty.
The song begins. It's direct, concise, and God awful: "Just give a kidney/ To a father or a dad./ Give a kidney/ We hear it doesn't really hurt that bad." It even has fun facts, such as "This country has 600 million kidneys" (and they really only need half!). Name dropping: "Milton Green! Milton Green! Milton Green! Milton Green! Milton Gree-ee-een!" Self-referentiality: "Listen, when someone starts talking in the middle of a song, you know it's serious." There are beard jokes, though sadly no hot dogs, hallways or hot mom jobs; scenarios laid out in which one of something, such as a kidney, is preferable to two (dogs attacking you, for example); outright pleading ("It's easier to give than a head!"), and even a drunken Cyndi Lauper! FYI: Other people who owe Jack favors = Norah Roberts, Sara Bareilles, Moby, Michael McDonald, Wyclef Jean, Steve Earle, Rhett Miller, Robert Randolph, Rachael Yamagata, and Talib Kweli. Oh yeah, and of course Jenna crashes and does some belting. Jack looks on proudly, and Lemon notes what a year they've had -- even though it's only May.