30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B+ | Grade It Now!
YOU GRADE IT
Community Organ-izers

Metro Fiancée: One time in college... and a lot since then.
Dumpy Girl in Muumuu: My boyfriend has been acting really weird since he got promoted at his job--
Lemon: Yeah, he thinks he deserves a vajayjay upgrade. He doesn't. He's not Tom Brady. Shut it down. Deal breaker!
[Average-looking couple stand at microphone]
Lemon: Yeah, there's no such thing as bisexual. That's just something they invented in the '90s to sell hair products. Deal breaker!
[Woman and guy with snake around his neck stand at mic]
Lemon: Only one snake in the bedroom. Deal breaker!
[Shrimpy farmer-like guy and semi-serial killer-looking guy stand at mic]
Lemon: I think you guys are gonna make it.

One Argument for Gun Control
Kenneth: Mr. Jordan, I think it's sad that you're still ashamed of that kid. That kid is you!
Tracy: Uh-uh! I've changed, Ken, into a badass adult. I have a wolf dog, and I have two bad knees, and a gun -- that I lost!

Rule #1 in the WASP Handbook
Jack: Milton, the Donaghys do not talk. We let things fester until they erupt in inappropriate anger, preferably during a wedding or elementary school graduation.

Saving Face
Milton: Can I come back next week?
Jack: Okay, we can go to a Yankee game. I have great seats in the section between the players' wives and the players' mistresses. But I don't go on Bat Day.

Shoddy Shop Talk
Dr. Spaceman: [Spouts lots of medical jargon at Jack.] Now, in layman's terms... what do you think that means?
Jack: I don't know. Could I give this guy a kidney or not?
Dr. Spaceman: "Due to negative blood tissue mass, transplantation is not recommended." Damn it, is this written in Greek?!

Liberals Do Like to Throw Away Money, I Hear
Jack: Lemon, I'm giving Milton Green a kidney.
Lemon: You're a match?
Jack: No I'm not.
Lemon: Then where are you going to get a kidney from?
Jack: I don't know, but I have the entire liberal media establishment at my disposal -- the same manipulation machine that got people to vote for Barack Obama and donate all that money after Rainstorm Katrina. I'm going to use that to find my dad a kidney.
Jenna: You should do a celebrity concert, like that gig I did to benefit old gays.
Jack: Yes! A benefit concert like "We Are the World" -- or "Weird Al" Yankovic's less successful parody benefit, "We Are the Pizza." Tell Pete to start building a set.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next

30 Rock

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP