Lemon: Wait a minute, we have to do this?
Jack: Well, you found a way to do your day job and be on Vontella. Great job, by the way. I haven't seen so many riled-up dirtbags since CVS put the cold medicine behind the counter.
Dr. Baby Ruth
Lemon: I'm not sure I'm qualified to give relationship advice.
Jack: You're not. Suburban seventh graders have more sexual experience than you do, but that doesn't matter.
Lemon: Right! Because I'm helping people.
Jack: No, you're helping yourself, so make the most of this opportunity. After all, how many years does TGS have left?
Lemon: I don't know. Twenty?
Jack: [Laughs.] What do you think this is, Wings? You've got two more years... at best.
Deal Breaker, Pt. 2
Angie Jordan: Dr. Liz, we need some advice from the Deal Breaker Lady.
Lemon: I don't know if that's such a good idea. I know you, and I know your husbands--
Angie Jordan: I just found out Tracy has a secret credit card I didn't know anything about.
Lemon: Not on my watch, biatch.
Angie Jordan: And he's been using the credit card to pay for a hotel room here in New York two days a week.
Lemon: S that D. Shut it down. Deal breaker. Paula?
Paula Hornberger: Pete is refusing to drive to my parents' place for just two weeks of family vacation.
Lemon: No to the way to the José! But Paula? Talk it out before you walk it out.
Random Nordic Girl: And I'm here in New York while he's back in Hoglanderwin.
Lemon: Long distance is the wrong distance, Sue! Deal breaker!
Jenna: Mickey Rourke wants to take me camping!
Lemon: Deal breaker, Jenna! Gah!
Cerie: I haven't seen my fiancée in seven months.
Lemon: Cerie, I have two words for you: Ro-bot war-ning! Okay, that catch phrase needs a little work. Deal breaker!
Angie Jordan: Teach it like you preach it, Liz Lemon! Wooooo!
The Only Thing We Have to Fear... Is Tracy Jordan Himself
Tracy: I almost didn't make it here today, but then a very special friend showed me the way. [Kenneth beams.] So I'd like to thank Victor Cordova from the Sunoco station on Lenox Avenue! [Applause.] But there's another reason why I almost didn't come today: Fear. Fear of letting people know the real me. I have but one thing to say to all of you. Be yourself! And I'm talkin' to you clearly, gay kid.
Gay Kid: Who told?