30 Rock

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Action Pact

30 Rock. Lemon asks about Jack's ongoing love triangle. He says he needs her help because of Avery's interception last night. Lemon is grossed out at the fact that Jack may have been with two women in one night and calls out Jack for being a "John Mayer-style garbage dick" (I'm pretty sure "dick" is where she was going, at least). Jack assures her he didn't go through with anything but is merely having trouble choosing. He says he feels like whichever woman he happens to be with at that moment seems like the right one. He admits that juggling women is beyond him and asks her to keep Nancy company during his birthday dinner with Avery. Lemon bemoans her fate as a single woman of a certain age, but Jack pawns her lack of dating success off on her sour attitude. She reminds him that he's asking her for a favor. He preys on her sympathy, saying that if he plays things wrong, he'll lose both women -- or "even worse, they're both going to lose" him. Lemon concedes to keep watch over Nancy, then literally gets her eyes locked while rolling them at him.

Downstairs, Pete gripes about all the paperwork Toofer created when he left. He asks Tracy to help him out by calling Toofer, which sends Tracy into a racial rant about the hostile environment at 30 Rock. Frank points out that his people (Italians) have also been stereotyped but have moved past it and become successful members of society. He speculates that every-black-man Tracy doesn't like being treated as an equal. Tracy shoots back that they're all just jealous that Disney finally got a black princess. Jenna points out that Disney hasn't had a white princess since 1991, and Pete goes through his mental rolodex of Disney princesses to confirm her statement. Ah, the joys of fatherhood! Jenna takes the opportunity to stump for her latest charity: "Jenna's Kids. It's a summer camp that teaches pretty blonde girls how to be mean." Then she gives herself a solitary round of applause.

Lemon enters, so Pete diverts his attention to beg her to get Toofer back. Tracy says she wouldn't because of her Aryan fear and hatred of "the black man," as witnessed in the Blade movies. Lemon says she didn't want Toofer to leave but respects his decision. She steps up on her own soapbox about being a woman in the business and receiving no special treatment. This speech is met with many groans.

That night, Jack and Avery meet for his birthday dinner. She says she knows why he was anxious to step out on the red carpet with her -- his age. He plays along with her theory, asking her if they're kidding themselves with their 15-year age gap. He asks if she even knows who Lee Marvin is. And that'd be a big no. She does appear to know a little about Marv Albert, though. Jack talks himself through the things he'd miss, like having a family, by dating someone his own age. Avery cuts him off, saying they've only been dating a month. She distracts him by handing him his present -- the very pair of cuff links Reagan was buried in. She tells Jack someday he'll be as great a man as Reagan was. He intones, "I do like jelly beans."

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30 Rock

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