The New Black
Tracy: I'm telling you, Dot Com, old-school racism is back.
Toofer: How can racism be back when we elected a black president?
Tracy: Barry Obams is the one who brought it back!
Toofer: So you're saying that racism is back because white people no longer feel sorry for us?
Tracy: Hey, something's going on. You know what I saw last night? A Slomin's Shield commercial with a black burglar!
Dot Com: That's not good.
Grizz: Come to think of it, I saw a white judge on Law and Order last night!
Tracy: Oh yeah, it's back on! Get ready, son. All you've ever known is your affirmative action job and Queen Latifah CoverGirl commercials.
Avery: You always know you're at the right party when it feels like The Riddler is about to attack. Look at this guest list -- Harvey Weinstein, Glenn Beck, Ashley Olsen.
Jack: These are the people who make New York great.
Avery: Come on, let's do the red carpet together. The Post will love it! "Money Bunny Avery Jessup Steps Out with Sex-ecutive Jack Donaghy."
Toofer: Liz, I work here because I'm hilarious, right?
Lemon: Is that a trick question?
Toofer: Today Tracy made the accusation that I am the beneficiary of affirmative action.
Lemon: Yeah, well, Tracy is a buffoon.
Tracy [pops his head in]: That is a 15th century term for a black pirate. Racist!
Toofer: Is my presence on this staff tokenism?
Lemon: Toofer, you are an invaluable member of our team.
Toofer: Then why are my paychecks a different color than Frank's?
Lemon: Because... your salary does not come out of our budget. Look, Toof, you provide a point of view that is essential to keep the diversity... guy from bothering us.
Apologies to Joyce DeWitt
Lemon: How's your episode of Three's Company going?
Jack: Like Three's Company, it's titillating and anxiety-producing. I need your help... Janet.
Lemon: Aw man, being Janet sucks!
A Peek At Lemon's Bookshelf
Lemon: You know what? This whole thing is unfair. You're juggling dating two beautiful women while I have to pay to have kickballs whipped at me. This is gender inequity out the yang!
Jack: This has nothing to do with the slight difference in our genders.
Lemon: Yes, it does. The older you get the more distinguished you are. Meanwhile, I'm reading a book called Hiding Your Arms, Hiding Your Anger: Dating Over 35.