Jack heads down to D.C. as NBC's front man in a congressional hearing about the Kabletown merger. He successfully scares the representatives into accepting vertical integration, but rhapsodizing Rhode Island representative Regina Bookman (Queen Latifah) becomes a thorn in his side when she threatens to thwart the merger if Jack doesn't racially diverse NBC. Jack panders to her demands by consulting Tracy and promoting Toofer to Co-Head Writer with Lemon. Lemon sees Toofer's promotion as a welcome promotion, since she feels under-appreciated and over-mocked by the writers. Needless to say, Lemon's plight only worsens when the writers embrace Toofer over her. So she does the next logical thing and crashes an interview Toofer has booked with African-American talk show Right On and comes off as a flaming racist.
Meanwhile, Tracy gets to work on producing a pilot Dot Com wrote that sounds a lot like American Dreams, but with black people... and a talking dog (Grizz's suggestion). In between failed test audiences, he visits with Congresswoman Bookman, who has dropped by NBC to check on Jack's progress. In five minutes time, he manages to make the atmosphere at TGS not unlike that of a soda fountain in 1960s Birmingham. Even Jack can't save the scene by presenting Toofer with a medal. Ironically, Rep. Bookman finds Lemon to be the only saving grace at NBC. Jack takes the Congresswoman aside and promises to wow her within the next three months, at the peril of the merger.
In the midst of all this, Kenneth finds that re-applying to the Page program is more competitive than it used to be, including but not limited to a newly instituted talent portion. He inadvertently likens it to a pageant, so veteran beauty queen Jenna offers her services and begins the arduous process of tearing Kenneth down to build him back up. The results are predictably JonBenét-level terrifying, with a song, dance, and sequin jacket that rips open to become an NBC flag. The plan backfires, leaving Kenneth rejected and Jenna transformed into her stage mom Verna. She vows to make it right, but it takes Jack's intervention to get Kenneth's job back. Since Kenneth apparently snatched the job right out of the hands of a Native American named Wantsasandwich, you can imagine how well that goes over with Rep. Bookman. On the upside, Kenneth is no longer in that red blazer. It did nothing for his coloring.
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30 Rock. Lemon walks into Jack's office in a huff because the writers have been putting mocking nameplates on her office door with such clever sobriquets as F. Krueger, Fart Barfunkel, and the inexplicable Paul Simon. Jack appreciates that she doesn't get respect but can't talk about it because he has been chosen as the front man for NBC at a congressional hearing on the Kabletown merger and is on his way to D.C. He has to assure the House Subcommittee on Baseball, Quiz Shows, Terrorism & Media that vertical integration is a good thing, despite its inherent susceptibility to corruption. He illustrates this susceptibility with a colorful example about a hypothetical corn chip manufacturer who also owns a diarrhea medicine plant. You get the point. Lemon tells him to "ask Congress where they put the USA Network" because she's been looking for Monk "for, like, three months." Jack disdains the type of person who is elected to Congress these days and is steeled to bring them on board with his and Kabletown's agenda. As they step into the elevator, Jonathan grows positively giddy at the possibility that unexpected circumstances might force them in the same room that night. Credits.
Later, downstairs, Pete comes to Lemon with a legal problem about a Johnny Appleseed skit they're doing. Apparently "Johnny Appleseed was a real guy, and his descendants are very litigious." Legal has cleared only one alternative name: Jerry Bananaseed. Lemon is frustrated either way, because she worked hard on the Johnny Appleseed sketch and will now have to rewrite it. She doesn't even get to finish her rant about how hard she works because Pete gets a text that someone named Jerry Bananaseed just killed a bunch of people in Portland. That's live TV for you.
Elsewhere, Jenna finds Kenneth -- how shall we say? -- reacquainting himself with the NBC sign out in the corridor. She's glad he's back, because she has a discreet errand she needs him to run. He tells her he's not officially on board yet. He's still in the application process, and it's a lot harder than it used to be. The other Page prospects are doing full-out singing, dancing extravaganzas, and he says with chagrin that it's turned into a pageant. Jenna lights on the word "pageant" with a thrill and says she is exactly who he needs to get him through his interview with flying colors (and flaming batons!). "When I was pageantizing," she tells him, "my mother told me, 'There's only three things standing between you and winning -- your breasts and wanting it bad enough.'" Kenneth starts to say that this motto doesn't apply to him, but Jenna interrupts with him a firm slap in the face and tells him ominously, "We've already started."