Jack spots Toofer, his last chance at saving this disastrous visit. He calls everyone's attention to present Toofer with the 2010 Tavis Smiley Excellence in Broadcast Award. Congresswoman Bookman asks how long Toofer has been Head Writer, and Toofer answers honestly that it's been one day. She sees through the ruse and asks who the real head writer is. Lemon shyly speaks up. Rep. Bookman strides over to Lemon, whom she deems a "lonely and tired woman," to congratulate her on being one of the 10% of the people who do 90% of the work. She tells Lemon she's the only person there she respects and gives her an "I Met a Congresswoman" sticker. Lemon begins to thank her but is interrupted when Rep. Bookman launches into another of her soapbox speeches: "This country was founded! On certain principles. Freedom! Troops! America! Flag! Now I might not know where I'm going with this. But I know! We will get there! Together!" She holds up Lemon's hand to tepid applause. She amps it up: "Who?! Loves?! Pizza?!" Wild applause.
Jack takes the Congresswoman aside and admits that he was putting on a show for her. He insists that he was only tap dancing because she made him. Natch, Jenna chimes in, "Did someone say tap dance?" and starts hoofing. Jack closes the door on her and continues. They squabble about her grandstanding and ambush tactics, finally coming to an understanding when Jack tells her how much he cares about diversity. She tells him to prove it to him by making real changes at NBC. If she doesn't see marked improvement in the next three months, she'll vote against the merger. Jack's vow to improve race relations at NBC is interrupted when Tracy barges in to grab a Samurai sword, yelling, "I'm cuttin' that fat cracker's head off!" He takes after Lutz, who shrieks, "I'm part Eskimo! We were here first!" Jack abruptly departs to squash this conflict, yelling back, "Three months, Congresswoman!" Rep. Bookman tries to leave. She opens the door, and Jenna is still tap-tap-tapping away. On the bright side, the only way to go is up!
Bonus! A scene from Let's Stay Together, starring John Amos and Stanley the Dog. The protagonist comes home, complaining that his auto plant closed, axing his job of 30 years, and he didn't even get a watch. Stanley argues his life is even harder because he's got two dates that night. Protagonist: "Stanley, even for a dog, you are a dog." The doorbell rings, and there are two well-groomed poodles on the other side. Winks Stanley, "Ain't life a bitch?"