Let's Not and Say We Did
Jack: Representative Regina Bookman is using the Kabletown hearings as a soapbox from which to complain about a lack of diversity on TV.
Lemon: Well, she has a point. I was reading the new Malcolm Gladwell New Yorker piece on my Kindle--
Jack: Did you really read that?
Lemon: No, I did not.
No Pain, No Page
Jenna: There you are. I've got hair extensions for you, and a body shaper with a reinforced penile sleeve.
Kenneth: Miss Maroney, please. My feet are killing me--
Jenna: I am trying to help you, Kenneth. Believe me, I wish you weren't such a Houston foreclosure of a human being, but I need to tear you down and turn you into someone that can actually win this thing!
More Like a Waddling and Teetering Tour
Regina Bookman: Mr. Donaghy, I'm in New York right now. Some colleagues and I are taking meetings on Wall Street, and then we're doing a Sex and the City walking tour.
Rob Reiner: Magnolia Bakery? Oh! Sorry, hips!
TGS's Legacy of Intrigue, Litigation, and Bumbling
Rutherford Rice: James, when people think of TGS, they think of Tracy Jordan, Jenna Maroney, the mysterious crew deaths, the Angela Lansbury lawsuit... What they don't think of is you. Working long hours late into the night, giving up any semblance of a life. Well, James Spurlock, you can finally take your bow. You are Right On's Arthur Ashe of the week!
Lemon [taking off her mic]: Okay, you know what? I get it. I shouldn't be here. I should have realized that when I saw the masks and the picture of black Jesus.
Rutherford Rice: That's me in college.
How Far We've Come!
Jack: What was I supposed to do? This is a multi-billion-dollar deal. There are thousands of jobs at stake. Hundreds of second homes! And your ridiculous grandstanding could ruin the whole thing -- like luffing your spinnaker during a yachting regatta. [Pause.] I know I'm not helping myself.
Regina Bookman: Sorry, grandstanding? Do you not think I believe in this?
Jack: It's just political theater. You're up for re-election.
Regina Bookman: Yes, maybe I get carried away sometimes with my love for this great country. And the troops! And the flag troops!
Jack: You're doing it!
Regina Bookman: And I apologize. But I only talk this way so I can get people to listen. I care about these issues.
Jack: And so do I! If you'd just give me a chance instead of ambushing me in front of the Congress and my own employees. You think I don't take diversity seriously? Only a fool doesn't. Diversity is the engine that drives this country. We are an immigrant nation. The first generation works their fingers to the bone making things. The next generation goes to college and innovates new ideas. The third generation... snow boards and takes improv classes.