30 Rock

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Race to the Finish

30 Rock. Lemon walks into Jack's office in a huff because the writers have been putting mocking nameplates on her office door with such clever sobriquets as F. Krueger, Fart Barfunkel, and the inexplicable Paul Simon. Jack appreciates that she doesn't get respect but can't talk about it because he has been chosen as the front man for NBC at a congressional hearing on the Kabletown merger and is on his way to D.C. He has to assure the House Subcommittee on Baseball, Quiz Shows, Terrorism & Media that vertical integration is a good thing, despite its inherent susceptibility to corruption. He illustrates this susceptibility with a colorful example about a hypothetical corn chip manufacturer who also owns a diarrhea medicine plant. You get the point. Lemon tells him to "ask Congress where they put the USA Network" because she's been looking for Monk "for, like, three months." Jack disdains the type of person who is elected to Congress these days and is steeled to bring them on board with his and Kabletown's agenda. As they step into the elevator, Jonathan grows positively giddy at the possibility that unexpected circumstances might force them in the same room that night. Credits.

Later, downstairs, Pete comes to Lemon with a legal problem about a Johnny Appleseed skit they're doing. Apparently "Johnny Appleseed was a real guy, and his descendants are very litigious." Legal has cleared only one alternative name: Jerry Bananaseed. Lemon is frustrated either way, because she worked hard on the Johnny Appleseed sketch and will now have to rewrite it. She doesn't even get to finish her rant about how hard she works because Pete gets a text that someone named Jerry Bananaseed just killed a bunch of people in Portland. That's live TV for you.

Elsewhere, Jenna finds Kenneth -- how shall we say? -- reacquainting himself with the NBC sign out in the corridor. She's glad he's back, because she has a discreet errand she needs him to run. He tells her he's not officially on board yet. He's still in the application process, and it's a lot harder than it used to be. The other Page prospects are doing full-out singing, dancing extravaganzas, and he says with chagrin that it's turned into a pageant. Jenna lights on the word "pageant" with a thrill and says she is exactly who he needs to get him through his interview with flying colors (and flaming batons!). "When I was pageantizing," she tells him, "my mother told me, 'There's only three things standing between you and winning -- your breasts and wanting it bad enough.'" Kenneth starts to say that this motto doesn't apply to him, but Jenna interrupts with him a firm slap in the face and tells him ominously, "We've already started."

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30 Rock

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