30 Rock

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Race to the Finish

Jack asks Lemon for a briefing on TGS's diversity. Other than Lutz, who claims to be Inuit, Toofer is the best and brightest (read: only) of the bunch. Jack decides to promote him to Co-Head Writer, a solution that is entirely amenable to Lemon in her current state of frustration. She's happy to hand him over the stupid Johnny Appleseed sketch, but Jack cuts her off to tell her that she won't be doing any such sketch. He shares a liquor locker at the opera with the litigious Monty Appleseed, naturally. Lemon growls from frustration, which apparently her doctor has warned her about because now her voice is nothing but a strained, irate rasp.

Downstairs, Jenna finds Kenneth rubbing his feet after a long day of Page interview rehearsal. She's brought her interview kit -- hair extensions and a body shaper with a reinforced penile sleeve. What, no flipper? Kenneth wants to take a break, but Jenna is in full-on Stage Mom mode, and she won't be talked down. She walks off in a huff, leaving Kenneth to spot a guy he saw in HR Coordinator Jeffrey Winerslav's office earlier. Kenneth can't believe they hired that joker, especially when he puts a stack of colored paper in the bin that is clearly marked for white paper. Kenneth runs off in search of Jenna.

Tracy's dressing room. Tracy, Grizz, and Dot Com brainstorm the show they'll produce for Jack. Tracy says he loves cop shows and can't wait for Law and Order to start back up. Grizz breaks it to him that the show's been cancelled, and Tracy screams out in anguish, "Why? It was a tent pole. A tent pole!" Dot Com introduces a show he's created, which actually sounds kind of brilliant. It's called Let's Stay Together and focuses on a black family in Detroit during the tumultuous '70s, complete with a snappy Motown soundtrack. "It's not just about a family trying to stay together," says Dot Com, "but also a nation." Grizz quickly chips in that he thinks there should be a talking dog. Tracy is sold. Dot Com is exasperated.

Kenneth's auditionterview. Jenna watches and dances in the background as Kenneth, who looks like a creepy televangelist with a sequined blue cocktail jacket, soft-shoes and shimmies his way through a snappy little song: "Thank you, NBC. For all the laughs and tears. Once home to Kelsey Grammer, The Golden Girls, My Name Is Early, The A-Team and Cheers! So shine on and thank you, NBC. A top ten network!" With that, he drops to one knee and rips open his glittering cocktail jacket to reveal an NBC peacock flag. Cut to a look of abject horror on Winerslav's face. Jenna reminds him to "Smile!" so he pops open his trap into an even more grotesque expression of forced glee. I think he may have gotten a flipper.

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30 Rock

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