30 Rock

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Race to the Finish

Jack takes the Congresswoman aside and admits that he was putting on a show for her. He insists that he was only tap dancing because she made him. Natch, Jenna chimes in, "Did someone say tap dance?" and starts hoofing. Jack closes the door on her and continues. They squabble about her grandstanding and ambush tactics, finally coming to an understanding when Jack tells her how much he cares about diversity. She tells him to prove it to him by making real changes at NBC. If she doesn't see marked improvement in the next three months, she'll vote against the merger. Jack's vow to improve race relations at NBC is interrupted when Tracy barges in to grab a Samurai sword, yelling, "I'm cuttin' that fat cracker's head off!" He takes after Lutz, who shrieks, "I'm part Eskimo! We were here first!" Jack abruptly departs to squash this conflict, yelling back, "Three months, Congresswoman!" Rep. Bookman tries to leave. She opens the door, and Jenna is still tap-tap-tapping away. On the bright side, the only way to go is up!

Bonus! A scene from Let's Stay Together, starring John Amos and Stanley the Dog. The protagonist comes home, complaining that his auto plant closed, axing his job of 30 years, and he didn't even get a watch. Stanley argues his life is even harder because he's got two dates that night. Protagonist: "Stanley, even for a dog, you are a dog." The doorbell rings, and there are two well-groomed poodles on the other side. Winks Stanley, "Ain't life a bitch?"

An Inuit, a talking dog, and a Lemon walk into a bar...

A Lemon by Any Other Name...
Lemon: Look at this [holds up a name placard with the words "F. Krueger"]. The writers put it on my door.
Jack: I don't know what that's referring to.
Lemon: It's referring to this one time that I got a chemical peel before work... and I was wearing a green and red sweater... and a fedora. But these douche-b's have been doing this for weeks.
Jack [flipping through Lemon's nameplates]: Lez Lemon--
Lemon: First thought.
Jack: Winona Ryder in a Hundred Years--
Lemon: Weak!
Jack: Fart Barfunkel--
Lemon: Indian food.
Jack: Paul Simon.
Lemon: I don't get that, but it hurts. Look, I love a good joke, but I am their boss, and at a certain point, it crosses a line. To quote Rodney Dangerfield [attempts a sad, bad impression]...
Jack: Lemon if you're about to say that you don't get any respect, you're right. I mean, in a post-Apocalyptic world, how would society even use you?

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30 Rock

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