The laughter keeps sliding down the cheeks of these newfound friends when Lemon and brother Mitch walk in. Jack opens his Christmas present from the Lemons: cheese, butter, and caramel popcorn. He loves it, and he takes Lemon up on her invite to go window-shopping with them. As he hears his own mother flushing the toilet in the adjoining bathroom, he hurries everyone out.
The Lemons plus Jack all wear matching red Christmas sweaters as Liz and Jack lace up their skates at Rockefeller Center. Sexy Dick Buck Lemon brags about his daughter's athletic prowess, noting her star turn as a football goddess. "It was just one game dad," deflects Lemon, "although I did kinda change everything forever." "I'll never forget that day," says her proud daddy. Jack seems to be basking in the glow of the Lemon family's unconditional support, even accepting a compliment on how well his skates are tied. They smile and pose for a group picture when the howl and rush of a great cackle beneath the heavens but still above their heads comes thundering down upon them. "Jack!" It's Mother Donaghy. "Having fun?"
Jack tries to convince Mother Donaghy of the innate sincerity and goodness of the Lemon family, but she doesn't want to hear it. She promises that, given ten minutes alone with the Lemons, they'll be tearing at one another "like drag queens at a wig sale."
The Lemons, Jack, and Mother Donaghy all sit down at a Grizzlebees, or some such, and Mother Donaghy gets to work. She begins by sowing seeds of disappointment, bringing up the topic of grandchildren and Liz's love life but the Lemons seem perfectly satisfied with Champy their Spaniel, absent any grandkids. Mom Donaghy shifts topics to politics, but to no avail. Jack begs her to back off but she's convinced that the Lemons are in denial. Mother Donaghy asks brother Mitch if he ever feels second class, what with Liz getting all the attention, but he answers no. As a matter of fact, his parents took him to see the movie Goonies just yesterday -- and by yesterday, he means 1985 yesterday. Lemon can't believe it. She's stunned. The day before the day before her brother's ski accident was the day she played on the football team. Her parents never went to the game; they were "embarrassed." Buck Henry Lemon loved White Haven football. "I was taking a stand for women," reminds Lemon. "Are you taking a stand now by not giving us grandkids?" retorts Mother Lemon. Lemon wonders why they never bother Mitch about grandkids. "Because he's 17," announces Poppa Lemon. "He's 40!" says Lemon. Gasp! Mitch's memory comes flooding back: He's so old! Poppa Lemon can't believe that Lemon didn't offer to pick up the dinner check: "I'm on a fixed income." Momma Lemon asks for another drink. Mother Donaghy leans over to Jack: "Bingo."