30 Rock

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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Father, Faker

Elsewhere, Lemon and Jenna pose for Time Out New York. Jenna tries to give Lemon tips on how to look appropriately Lohan-esque. Oh sweet Jesus, please don't let Lemon end up like this. [Please, Jesus, please let Lemon end up like that. - Z] The photographer brings out a box of props to get some wacky shots with Jenna. She direly warns Lemon not to go near that box because the one goofball shot will inevitably be the one they choose. The wheels in Lemon's head start turning as she weighs looking idiotic against ceding credit to Jenna. They head over to pose for pictures, and the photographer lobs a rubber chicken at Jenna. She stands her ground, so the photographer tells her the chicken would make a great cover. At hearing this, Lemon's face takes on the look of a buzzard circling a carcass. Cue hundreds of shots of Lemon in Groucho Marx glasses and slogan shirt doing all sorts of unholy things with a rubber chicken. Jenna stands on the sidelines hrmphing.

Back at 30 Rock. Green belt Lutz challenges Donald to a karate match. Results are predictably horrible for Lutz. Lemon and Pete cringe, yet also stand by and do nothing.

Later, Lemon asks Jack about his disastrous almost-reunion with Milton. Jack says more family means more aggravation, so he's walking away. Lemon thinks Jack will regret not welcoming Milton into his life. Jack counters that he could be rejected and regret the choice to let him in. Lemon agrees that that is a distinct possibility, but being Jack sans Papa isn't so bad. Still, he could tell Milton, and they could have a tearful, joyful new family life together. She assures him that those are the only two possibilities and that there will be no "weird third thing." Jack takes her words to heart and zings her like old times as he exits.

Lutz hobbles into the writers' room on his crutches as Lemon and Pete woe that they are no farther in their quest for the truth about Donald. That reminds Cerie to give them his birth certificate. Some sweet guy at the birth certificate place just gave it to her. For Cerie, Youth + Beauty = Open Doors to Identity Theft. Lemon beholds the birth certificate and rushes into Tracy's dressing room as he is writing yet another check. Only after she gets him to stop does she realize that it's a check for Dot-Com's birthday -- his 18th birthday. Moving on. Lemon shows Tracy Donald's birth certificate that proves he is too old to be Tracy's son. Tracy says he knew the whole time. Lemon's all, "Come again now?" Tracy says he has been inspired and heartened by Donald's story and has relished the opportunity to turn a hip-hopster grifter into budding entrepreneur and community organizer. Just then, Donald enters the room and invites Tracy to head uptown and see the dojo, a.k.a. The Tracy Jordan Institute for Black Karate.

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30 Rock

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