30 Rock

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Lady Lola: C | Grade It Now!
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Father, Faker

Someone's Sexually Repressed!
Lenny: Thanks for meeting me here.
Jack: This is my office.
Lenny: I know, but once I'm in the building, I can get into the cafeteria. And that means free ice!

Deconstructing Age: African-American Edition
Lemon: There is no way that's Tracy's son, right? That guy is scamming him.
Pete: Maybe. Donald did look pretty old.
Lemon: I know... but I do have a hard time telling ages with Black--
Toofer enters
Lemon:...shoes are the best kind of shoes.
Toofer: How old do you think I am?
Pete: 50!
Lemon [same time]: 25!
Toofer: I am 33. How old do you think Samuel L. Jackson is?
Lemon: 50!
Pete [same time]: 25.
Toofer: Mr. Jackson is 61.
Lemon: Wow! Okay. What about this? Maybe Donald is Tracy's son because maybe Tracy is 60.
Pete: No, that's ridiculous.
Lemon: Think about it: He can't rap. He has diabetes. A lot of his friends are dead.
Pete: He falls asleep in chairs. He doesn't know how to use a computer. He's always mad at the TV!
Toofer: His favorite show is NCIS.
Lemon: He might be 70!

Well, For Starters... You're in the Entertainment Industry
Lemon: Hey, Tracy, you're 39, right?
Tracy: Yeah, why would I lie about my age? I'm in the entertainment industry.

I Prefer "Spectacular & Marvelous!"
Donald: Heyyyyy... [reading badge] Kenny!
Kenneth: Well hello... stranger!
Donald: Do you like magazines?
Kenneth: I sure like S&M magazines. "S&M" is my abbreviation for "Super and Magical!"

A Glimpse of Hornberger
Pete: No, you can't get someone else's birth certificate. I know, because I've been trying to steal my dead neighbor's identity, because sometimes it feels like too much and maybe Daddy just needs to get in the car and driiiive.

Shout-Out to the MiddKids!
Milton Green: I will not be spoken to this way. I am a contest winner! And a professor at Bennington College!
Jack: Ohhhhhh, Bennington! How's that going? Teaching all those kids who couldn't get into Middlebury?

Just a Little Light Evening Entertainment
Lemon: Jack, what did you say to Milton? If Cornel West wasn't speaking at the New School tonight, I think he would have left.

Father Woes Best
Jack: Milton Green and I are nothing alike. I have one scotch with the guy, and it devolves into a screaming match about Tom DeLay.

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30 Rock

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