30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Michael Neal: B | 2 USERS: C
YOU GRADE IT
MILF Island

Guess who's biz-ack? You guessed it, Caesar Milan with an all new Dog Whisperer. Just waiting for my TiVo to load and then we're off and running. In this episode Caesar will have to assert his calm energy on an insecure yellow lab and then teach a recently divorced woman how to express dominance over her dog Binky thereby becoming pack lead ... wait. What the hell is this? What the hell is MILF Island?

Is that a dog rescue acronym or ... okay wait that looks like Tina Fey. Celebrity Dog Whisperer maybe? And that is definitely Kenneth from her show 30 Rock. He's bringing her a newspaper and asking her about a quote from a Page Six gossip column:
"Which TGS with Tracy Jordan staffer called corporate honcho Jack Donaghy 'a class-A moron?' Donaghy is up for the GE chairmanship but one employee has misgivings adding 'that guy could eat my poo.'"

Okay "poo." Got it. Tina Fey has a housebreaking problem. Still this doesn't look like the Discovery Channel. Wait, she's still talking. Tina Fey wants to know who is behind the quote in the paper and the room full of staffers shrug in unison. Now Jonathan walks in and asks her to go see Jack Donaghy in his office. Alec Baldwin? She demands a fess-up from the staff before she goes, insisting this time she will not be taking the bullet for anyone. Frank denotes: "This is bad. Real bad," and then the TV in the room that is set that night's finale of MILF Island focuses in as the MILF Island host squarely says "Prepare for the craziest night of television of your life."

Wait a minute ... the strikes over? The strikes over! The strikes ova!!!

On with the show and on her way to Jack's office Lemon bumps into Pete who is buying snacks at the vending machine in preparation for tonight's Island finale. Suddenly he's Costanza excited about a "dangler" candy bar in the vending machine. Lemon groans then moves on but Pete is fast on his knees (dirty thought) reaching his hand up to try and grab at the dangler (really dirty thought). "I'm stuck!"

Two MILFs dance with poles on the TV in Jack's office. "Lemon remember this? Deborah and Shana squaring off at Erection Cove," asks Jack. Deborah is not pronounced Deb-o-rah incidentally. It's said almost as one word -- one pseudo-French word: Debor-ah. Debor-ah smacks her ass to the screen to the delight of the 8th grade boys whose affection all the MILFs are competing for. Jack is quite taken by her. Thinks she has star quality. Loves her impression of an Indian cab driver. He wants Lemon to work with her on a spin-off but Lemon hastily declines citing, among other things, the shower confessional part of the program. Jack though compares MILF Island to art -- nay Shakespeare. "MILF Island reflects the drama of the human experience and isn't that the essence of art? Sniff, sniff. I think I smell a post-strike diatribe coming up. Lemon's rejoinder is passionate. "Performance is an art. Writing is an art. What we do is art." CUT TO: Tracy wearing a lab coat in the middle of a TGS sketch. He's next to an overheating robot from the '50s. "Someone put too many farts in this engine! It's about to explode! It's farting! It's farting!!" Turns out that smell I detected was a fart. Man, she's good. Jack brings up another matter to her -- that unfortunate quote in today's New York Post. He wants to turn up the heat on her people and sweat out the quote's culprit. By the time she leaves Jack's office the whole staff is already on pins and needles in his waiting room. Frank is annoyed since there is fresh pizza and an entire MILF Island finale waiting downstairs for them. Lemon pleads for someone to take responsibility but instead is greeted, much like DMX, with middle fingers in the air. As she leaves Kenneth begs for a moment of her time in private.

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30 Rock

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