30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: B- | Grade It Now!
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Mixed Marital Arts

She heads downstairs and tells Pete about Jack's latest gambit in their acrimonious divorce. She asks how to fight back. Pete tells her never to back down. Jenna joins their conversation and chimes in, "Oh, I hear ya. I mean, take Danny... please!" Yuk yuk. Pete also thinks Lemon needs to find Jack's weakness "and then viciously exploit it. That's what marriage is."

Elsewhere, Jenna and Danny break the news to Kenneth that Danny is moving to the Y. They promise always to be Kenneth's Danny and Jenna, just not together. Adds Danny, "And don't think for one second this means we love you any less. Know that it means that."

Jack's apartment. Jonathan calls and tells Jack to turn on the television. Lemon is decked out in a Jackie O. get-up as she holds a press conference announcing her and Jack's $5 million donation to found The Jack and Elizabeth Donaghy High School for Teen Drama, The Arts, and Feelings. She calls them both "embarrassed Americans" and pledges to foster a new generation of choreographers, puppeteers, video artists, and theatrical jugglers "who will ask the world, 'What is Art?'" Jack is mortified.

The next day, the happy couple report to their meeting with Weinerslav. He tells them it's been a real hoot to watch their "will they, won't they" courtship. He starts to get into the nitty gritty, but they cut him off with their squabbling about his scheming, her public humiliations, and their rapidly dissolving friendship. Nope, no nepotism here. Weinerslav veers back to the topic at hand, and it seems that Jack and Lemon have all the signs of nepotism. As he runs down the list of all their shared high jinks and quirks, they wistfully realize that theirs is, in fact, the longest and most meaningful relationship either of them has ever had. They apologize for the blackmails and threats. Lemon commits to sign the papers, and Jack concedes to lay off the budget cuts. Weinerslav wants to move on to another relationship exercise: Word association. As soon as "Foreplay" comes out of his mouth, Jack declares the meeting over.

Bonus: The Real Housewives-style intro to Angie's new show: "I'm Angie, I think elegance and attitude are the same thing. And I have IBS." From the gay hairdresser: "I'm D'Fwan, and I just want to be accepted for who I am -- a sexual maniac." From the hilarious fat friend: "I'm Portia. I don't care what anyone says, I keep the 3D glasses." From the crazy-eyed white lady: "I'm Randi, with an 'i.' My ex-husband's new girlfriend is cheating on him... with me." And from Angie's no-goodnik nephew: "Do you have any meth?" Presenting Queen of Jordan: "It's my way 'til pay day!"

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30 Rock

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