Lemon: That is when TGS... or wrestling is on!
Jack: I guess I could reconsider the time slot in exchange for your signature.
Lemon: Ugh, you know what? I'm calling your bluff. You're not giving her a TV show.
Angie: FYI, I am friends with a hilarious fat girl and a crazy-eyed divorced white lady who wants to be in the music business.
Lemon: Ohhhh, I'd watch that! Can D'Fwan be on it?
Angie: Uh-huh. With his even gayer boyfriend.
Lemon: Okay fine. Give her her own show, and I will watch it. On our TV, in our house, because I'm not signing anything. This is not over.
Angie: Do you think my meth addict nephew should be on the show?
Lemon: Yes, please!
Signs of Nepotism
Jeffrey Weinerslav: Does the employee spend an inordinate amount of time in the employer's office compared to other employees?
Jack: Well, yes, I suppose, but only because Miss Lemon is incapable of doing anything on her own.
Lemon: Please. Half the time when I go up there, it's to help you choose a tie, and they're all red or blue.
Jack: Where I come from, if you have more than two colors on a tie, it means you're looking for a certain kind of bar.
Jeffrey Weinerslav: Are all workday conversations business-related, or do personal issues often dominate discussion? Including, but not limited to: mothers, diarrhea, having babies, problems in the bedroom, neckties, food issues, foot disorders, having it all--
Jack: Okay, yes. In the past, we have advised each other.
Lemon: For instance, Jack taught me not to wear tan slacks with a tan turtleneck. I thought it looked nice, but he rightly pointed out that it made me look like a giant condom.
Jack: And Lemon is the only one of my subordinates who's not afraid to warn me when I'm being too authoritative or handsome.
Lemon: Or when you have eye boogers.