Back in the land of "Please be normal today," Jenna's admiring herself in the mirror while wearing her new Kabletown sweatshirt. Tracy comes in and fakes nice, but is all, "Good sweatshirt to you. How are you sweatshirting this sweatshirt?" He tells her he wants it back, and she says she can't take this away, like he did with the show and her grandmother's jewelry chest. He wonders if he was supposed to throw up in something of his?! Jenna says he gave her this sweatshirt, and he says he can take it back since he's the star, and if there's only one, the star should have it. He wants to hold it, so she runs off and says he'll never get it.
Kenneth tells Lemon that Carmen Chao called about an interview, and wonders if she's doing an expose on how feminism has led to a happiness crisis among educated women. Lemon says no, and it's nothing; she's going to call Jack and make it go away. Frank comes in wearing a "WET TACOS" hat, and says he was just in the everybody dining room sharing a table with "B-Dubs" (he's with Brian Williams, of course), and guess what B-Dubs told him? Brian Williams: "Okay. Gossip alert. According to my colleague Carmen Chao, our very own Liz Lemon is pregnant." Lemon gasps, and Jack, who's just arrived, asks if that isn't such wonderful news. "Lemon told me this morning. She got jacked, big time."
He pulls her aside and she asks WTHell is going on here. He thanks her for covering for Avery, and now she's part of this. And Carmen Chao is relentless, like a bloodhound, possibly literally since no one knows her genetic background. Lemon asks if she has to do this mom news story with Carmen. Jack says there is no news story; it's just Carmen trying to call Lemon's bluff. Lemon says it's called, because she's telling everyone that there's no way she could be pregnant since she's had her period for the last sixty-one days. She says it with so much satisfaction, but she must be miserable. Jack begs her to please help Avery, whose career has never been more important, since he doesn't know what's happening with this, what with the everyone dining room and memos with emoticons. He doesn't know if he has a future at a place like Kabletown. "I'm Jack Donaghy! Don Geiss gave me this watch for firing a man on his death bed." Lemon asks if he might leave, and Jack says he doesn't know if he can survive here, so he's asking her as a friend to fake being pregnant. Lemon gets upset, because when she invites him to a murder mystery party, he's all, "We're business colleagues," but now they're friends? She doesn't know why she ever chose him as a friend. Jack: "Let's just be clear about this: I chose you." Lutz barges in and congratulates Lemon, and kisses her stomach. It's so gross. Then he tells Jack they have a pitch meeting later. Jack leaves, one can only assume to go jump off the Top of the Rock.