Inside 30 Rock, Lemon's directing a TGS scene when Jack barges in and interrupts, asking them to "gather up" - everyone, even the robot. He lets them know that Hank Hooper, the owner of Kabletown, will be touring today so he needs them to be their most normal. Lame Tracy joke (he thinks dinosaurs come from "the underwater city of Syronocon). Less lame Jenna joke (when asked to get all her crazy out now, she shrieks at the guy next to her about volumizing her hair). Lamest Frank joke (his "armpit thing" is almost touching his "thigh thing.") He reminds them not to be themselves, and then asks Lemon to meet him in his office. She wonders if he needs sex advice, and offers this tip: "Sometimes a woman likes to leave her blazer on." He rightly walks away. Kenneth presents Jenna and Tracy with a gift to the stars from Hank Hooper. They're all fake happy and fake into it, and fake enjoying the fact that there's two of everything in the box: two new Apple computers, two fancy watches. They're praising themselves for not fighting about anything anymore, until they get to the bottom of the box, where there is only one gray Kabletown hoodie. They pull on it until Tracy tells her he wants her to "selfishly take the best sweatshirt in the world." She's so happy.

Jack's office. He wants Lemon to take Avery shopping "for baby things": a crib, small clothes, a tiny desk with a miniature pen set on it. Luckily, he adds that he doesn't know a lot about babies, but he's sure Avery would enjoy having another woman go with her. Lemon's cool with that, but surprised Avery wouldn't want to take her terrifying best friend. Jack says her sister's institutionalized for nerves (actually, for being a lesbian), and her work friends can't go because she's trying to keep her pregnancy a secret. That would seem tough at eight months along, but Jack pulled some strings with Michael Kors (they own a gay race horse together), and got him to make wizard capes fashionable for ladies this winter. Lemon: "It's my fault for asking!" Jack says the problem is that Avery's up for a new job (financial reporter for NBC Nightly News), and she won't get the job if anyone finds out she's pregnant. Lemon uses this as an opportunity to talk about her one-act play about men getting pregnant, The Seahorses of Warwickshire Abbey, but Jack continues that Avery has to keep her condition under wraps until her contract is signed. Unfortunately, her competition is Carmen Chao of MSNBC. Lemon asks what ethnicity she is anyway, and Jack says no one knows. Cut to a scene of Vanessa Minnillo doing a news report. She speaks perfect Spanish, Chinese (I don't speak it, but I'm assuming based on the name Chao), and Jamaican. Cut back to Jack telling Lemon that if Carmen finds out she'll destroy Avery. Carmen, he says, is very sneaky. "And that's not racist, because I don't know what she is." Lemon invites Jack to a new popcorn place for lunch, but he's going to the executive dining room to meet with Hank Hooper. He can't wait to shake his hand, since you can tell a lot about someone by their handshake. Lemon and Jack shake, and she says he's confident. He, in turn, says she ate dinner in front of the mirror last night. Lemon doesn't even try to deny it: "Carol's away a lot."

Executive dining room. When Jack goes in for that handshake, Hank hugs him. He says he's a hugger, and it's not really a hug unless it lasts ten seconds, with counting and everything. Jack calls him "Sir," and Hank says to just call him Hank. Frank, Lutz, and the boys come in and Jack asks what they're doing here, but Hank says it's okay, because Kabletown is family, so this is no longer the executive dining room; it's the everyone dining room. He welcomes everyone, and they all clap. Except Jack, who's horrified. People are wearing sandals in the executive dining room! Hank tells Jack how happy he is with the work he's done so far. Jack starts catching him up on what he's working on now, but Lutz interrupts and asks if he can sit with them. Hank lets him, and then tells Jack that the guy who came up with the idea for the DVR was a janitor named Carlos, so now Hank makes sure anyone who works here can pitch any idea they have one a month. Tomorrow will be Jack's day to listen to pitches, then report back to Hank, who says "I'll be the guy wearing the Bugs Bunny tie." Lutz wants Jack to wipe the green stuff off his lobster, and Hank encourages him to do it. This is getting way too weird.

Avery, in a wizard cape, baby-shops with Lemon, who's carrying a fake Prada bag, when Carmen Chao comes in and gives Avery a, "Que Sorpresa!?" Avery stiffens and wonders what Carmen's doing here. Carmen says she just loves babies: "their creepy little hands and the way they crawl fast like a rat monster." Then she wonders what Avery is doing here. Lemon pipes up that she's pregnant, and Avery's here with her, helping her decide what kind of baby megaphone (she picks up a breast-pump) to buy. She says that some guy jacked her and now his sperm is growing in her stomach. Carmen: "That's not how babies are made." Avery tries to get them out of there, but Carmen says she's working on a story about single mothers in their 40s, and she wants Lemon to be in it. Lemon agrees, and says Carmen can interview her at the new popcorn place. Carmen says no, they'll do it in Lemon's office, and Lemon's all, "Fine. I'll go to the popcorn place alone, even though all their advertising suggests it is a place for groups of friends to have a good time."

Back in the land of "Please be normal today," Jenna's admiring herself in the mirror while wearing her new Kabletown sweatshirt. Tracy comes in and fakes nice, but is all, "Good sweatshirt to you. How are you sweatshirting this sweatshirt?" He tells her he wants it back, and she says she can't take this away, like he did with the show and her grandmother's jewelry chest. He wonders if he was supposed to throw up in something of his?! Jenna says he gave her this sweatshirt, and he says he can take it back since he's the star, and if there's only one, the star should have it. He wants to hold it, so she runs off and says he'll never get it.

Kenneth tells Lemon that Carmen Chao called about an interview, and wonders if she's doing an expose on how feminism has led to a happiness crisis among educated women. Lemon says no, and it's nothing; she's going to call Jack and make it go away. Frank comes in wearing a "WET TACOS" hat, and says he was just in the everybody dining room sharing a table with "B-Dubs" (he's with Brian Williams, of course), and guess what B-Dubs told him? Brian Williams: "Okay. Gossip alert. According to my colleague Carmen Chao, our very own Liz Lemon is pregnant." Lemon gasps, and Jack, who's just arrived, asks if that isn't such wonderful news. "Lemon told me this morning. She got jacked, big time."

He pulls her aside and she asks WTHell is going on here. He thanks her for covering for Avery, and now she's part of this. And Carmen Chao is relentless, like a bloodhound, possibly literally since no one knows her genetic background. Lemon asks if she has to do this mom news story with Carmen. Jack says there is no news story; it's just Carmen trying to call Lemon's bluff. Lemon says it's called, because she's telling everyone that there's no way she could be pregnant since she's had her period for the last sixty-one days. She says it with so much satisfaction, but she must be miserable. Jack begs her to please help Avery, whose career has never been more important, since he doesn't know what's happening with this, what with the everyone dining room and memos with emoticons. He doesn't know if he has a future at a place like Kabletown. "I'm Jack Donaghy! Don Geiss gave me this watch for firing a man on his death bed." Lemon asks if he might leave, and Jack says he doesn't know if he can survive here, so he's asking her as a friend to fake being pregnant. Lemon gets upset, because when she invites him to a murder mystery party, he's all, "We're business colleagues," but now they're friends? She doesn

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