"With Tracy away, it's time to let Angie be the star," says the Queen of Jordan -- which also happens to be the lens through which we view everyone's favorite Midtown address this week. And what a lens it is. An entire subplot involves Jack's embarrassment at tripping in front of the camera. The Jack smack occurred during a meeting to plan a launch party for Angie's self-referential, sure-to-be-smash single "My Single Is Dropping." Lemon wants no part in planning the party because she's stressed about getting Tracy back from "Africa." While she tries to trick Angie into calling Tracy and begging him to return, Jack sets about embarrassing himself further by attempting to prove his athleticism, resulting in a string of "Jack is a gay" jokes that climax with him bragging that he played Maria in an all-male production of West Side Story at Princeton. When Lemon's subterfuge inevitably fails, she tries to no avail to hack Angie's computer. Angie finds her. Cue contractually obligated weave-pulling by Angie, plus Manzo "thick as thieves" spouting and Giudice table flipping by Lemon. They reach an impasse shortly after Lemon awkwardly pulls out her earrings, and they both realize the world will be a sadder place if Tracy never returns to it. Get well, Tracy Morgan!
In happier subplots, Jenna and Angie's Staub-ish token crazy white friend Randi both try to stir up drama. The former by drunkenly hurling wine and accusations in others' faces, the latter by revealing her stripper past. In fact, it's Frank who's actually got the real dramz. Turns out he got LeTourneau'd by his eighth grade teacher (Susan Sarandon), who returns for a bittersweet reunion... and not just because Randi is working the pole behind their heart-to-heart. Perhaps sensing that Randi is winning this battle, Jenna plans to win the war by forcing Pete to plan an intervention for her, thus guaranteeing screen time. Pete takes this plan and runs with it, sending her to rehab so he can take advantage of Tracy and her absence to file an insurance claim and get paid without working. In the end, Jenna finds herself drinking all alone while hiding out from the interventionist in an air duct. Just another Thursday evening for Jenna, really.
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Previously on Queen of Jordan: Angie got Auto-Tuned. Her wisecracking, heavyset friend Portia flipped a table. Her token gay D'Fwan and token crazy white lady friend Randi clashed. And Tracy told Angie that he was leaving for "Africa."
We open at the Jordan estate, as Angie tells D'Fwan to glue in her business weave because she has an important meeting with Jack Donaghy that day. Cut to 30 Rock. As Angie walks to Jack's office, she says Tracy's trip to "Africa" is her chance to focus on herself. First up: Launch a music career. She explains, "It has been my dream to be a singer ever since I was a little... drunk the other day and rented out a recording space." Jack (chyron: "NBC Executive/Tracy's Boss) welcomes Angie in an especially good mood, since Queen of Jordan helped NBC finally beat those damn Music Choice channels ("except, of course, Latin Beats"). Angie says she's on to the next thing, specifically her single "My Single Is Dropping" is dropping. Jack says the studio will be free while they run another "Best of" special -- to which Lemon (chyron: "Another Person") interjects that legal told them they can't use the word "best" -- and offers Lemon to help Angie plan a party. Lemon thought they were getting together to discuss getting Tracy back, but Angie says she's loving the spotlight and hopes Tracy stays away for months. Lemon blurts out that Angie can't do that. Angie snaps back, "Are you giving me orders? Am I a waiter? Is this the restaurant that I'm opening up with Dennis Rodman and Webster?" I want to go to there. Jack steps forward to make peace with them, trips over his own feet, and falls flat on his face. In an interview, he orders them not to use the footage.
Elsewhere, Randi thinks Angie's single release party is the perfect place to reveal her shocking secret past as a call girl in Delaware. Is a secret like that even shocking anymore? Also, hello Danielle Staub redux. Lemon refuses to write Randi's sordid history and tells Randi to write it herself. Randi retorts, "For your information, I am a Christian illiterate, so that's not an option." Just after Lemon vows not to get sucked into any "crazy reality show nonsense," Jenna (chyron: "Former Child Star") shows up to declare her anger at Lemon for "that thing [she] did" and throw a glass of wine at Lemon. Lemon ducks, and we cut to an interview where Jenna says that she is absolutely not trying to get air time by instigating fights as she promotes her new website, Jennas-Side.com. Say it out loud. Jenna feigns ignorance as she asks, "I mean, is wine throwing something that even gets you on a reality show?" Cut to a montage of much wine-tossing, including a three-way varietal vault and a shot of Randi throwing a glass of wine at a German shepherd in a party hat.