30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 2 USERS: A+
YOU GRADE IT
Real Housewives of 30 Rock

A bit later, Toofer (no chyron) tells Pete (chyron: "Powerless Bald") that Lynn Onkman, some teacher from Queens who had an affair with a student, is being released from jail. They turn to Frank, who looks suspiciously like a kid in Onkman's eighth grade class and ask him to name the teacher-sexing student. He clams up, and a lurking Randi drops the bomb that it must have been him. The guys hoot and holler about how impressed they are, but Frank takes offense at the implication that his affair was anything other than pure love.

Meanwhile, Angie and Lemon meet for a party dress fitting, in which Angie refuses to wear anything that fits or is age-appropriate. Jack interrupts and takes Lemon aside for the kind of supposedly private, highly subtitled conversation with Lemon that reality shows love. He first insists he didn't trip, eliciting a laugh from Lemon. He insists that the media will make a mockery of him for one tiny slip-up. As proof of his point, he references Hitler, saying, "No one ever talks about his paintings." Lemon tries to console Jack, claiming they won't use the footage. Cue black-and-white slow-mo shot of Jack's fall from grace. Lemon tells him to focus on their real problem -- the fact that Angie won't help them get Tracy back because of her focus on her stupid projects -- including but not limited to being the new spokesperson for the Ham Council. Jack concedes that Angie does have a way with that particular word. Cut to Angie: "HAY-UM!"

Back in the closet (trust me, this location will have ripples later), Jack tells Lemon he didn't charge Lemon with organizing Angie's single release party because of her love of Amy Grant. In fact, he wants her to strategically use her time with Angie to manipulate Angie into calling Tracy. Lemon says she knew Jack would have her back. Apropos of that, he tells her that her shirt is tucked into her underwear. I suspect that's not the first time he's had to come to her rescue on that particular front. Jack and Lemon part ways. Lemon heads back to Angie, saying that if only Tracy were there, he'd be all, "Damn, woman, I want to make love to yo' neck!'" Angie snippily tells Lemon not to do impressions of other races.

Now it's D'Fwan's time to shine! You see, he's not just a gay hairdresser, he's also a homosexual party planner. As such, he is producing Angie's party. Kenneth (chyron: "Elderly Page") checks in to tell D'Fwan that Party City had neither giant, see-through clocks nor strap-on Pegasus wings. But they did have crepe paper pineapples! Jenna interrupts to announce that she's drinking wine and calls out Portia for having no class. Randi walks in, and D'Fwan sulks that he won't be in the same room with her. Apparently they're arguing over something contentious that may or may not have been said off-camera but ended up with them arguing in the back of a limo with one of the Blue Men from Blue Man Group. Alas, it's not a David Cross cameo.

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30 Rock

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