As they shoot daggers into each other with their eyes, Lynn Onkman (Susan Sarandon, chyron: "Educator/Sex Offender") stumbles in, looking for "Frank R." She finds him down the hall in the writers' room. They both smile broadly. Everyone else looks on dubiously.
Out in the corridor, Grizz and Dot Com ask if Angie's token good-for-nothing brother is back on meth. He tweaks, "Uh! No! Why?! You got some?!" Before they can answer, a football hits Dot Com in the head courtesy of Jack Donaghy, who hopes to illustrate his graceful past as a football player at Princeton. Dot Com (chyron: "Grizz's Best Friend") says he's sick of Jack's disrespect. As Jack begins to regale the fellows with sports stories, Grizz excuses himself to have lunch with a phantom best friend named Greg. Grizz's chyron? "Greg's Best Friend." Jack brags that he played both baseball and football. In fact, he "went both ways." Dot Com sees this golden opportunity and lets Jack dig his own verbal grave by asking him whether he was ever on the DL (slang for both the "disabled list" and the "down low"). Jack says he was and that much of his time on the DL was spent getting rubbed down in hot tubs. As you do. Jack adds insult to injury, so to speak, by proudly proclaiming that he was a "switch hitter -- pitcher, catcher, whatever the boys needed." Cue Halpert-style grimace at the camera from Dot Com. Interviews Jack: "I think I made my point."
Portia time, bitches! By which we really mean Jenna time. She stumbles in saying that she "drank all the throwing wine" and knows what Portia said about her. Portia is happy to learn this because she has legitimate concerns about Jenna's drinking. So naturally Jenna thinks it's the perfect opportunity to loudly declare that she's in denial about her "disease," then confess in an interview that she wants Pete to throw her an intervention so she can get more screen time. Boffo planning, Maroney!
Tracy's Angie's dressing room, Lemon walks into find that Angie is unimpressed by the "white nonsense" also known as the single-release costume Lemon styled directly from Amy Grant's "Baby, Baby" video. Lemon says it's too bad Tracy's not there to stick up for her, then pops in a DVD she claims features the people auditioning to be Angie's back-up dancers (for her 15-second song). In fact, it's footage of Angie and Tracy's wedding on August 30, 1991. Naturally, the video backfires when it reminds Angie that Tracy showed up to their wedding in red shorts, a flat-top hairdo, a tuxedo T-shirt and handcuffs, then told her he was bringing a friend on the honeymoon. Angie says that her relationship with Tracy has never been better since he moved to another continent. "I'm on Angie time now," she declares, prompting a head tilt and open-ended look from Lemon.