30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: D | 2 USERS: A+
Real Housewives of 30 Rock

Meanwhile, Randi says that Frank and Lynn's story of forbidden love really touched her. As such, she let Frank use the stripperobics studio she bought with money from being shot by a cop. The star-crossed lovers meet, and Frank updates Lynn on all the things she missed while she was in the clink. For Frank, that mainly means the various, declining film versions of The Hulk. We get the back-story on the moment they fell in love -- she was giving him a scoliosis test and let her hand linger on his spine. Lynn wonders why Frank asked to meet her at the studio. Pan over to Randi workin' the pole as they talk. Frank admits that he can't invite Lynn to his place, since he still shares it with his mother. He tries to grab her hand, but she recoils. She says sadly that he hasn't grown up since she went away, which he blames on the fact that she stole his innocence. He says he is who he is, then raises his hand and asks to be dismissed. Randi clutches her heart... while hanging upside-down on the pole thanks to her clenched thighs.

Elsewhere, Jack takes a meeting with D'Fwan to discuss a spin-off where D'Fwan plays matchmaker for wealthy dogs. D'Fwan admits that this ingenious idea was a ruse. He wants to confront Jack about not being true to himself. D'Fwan says he understands this quandary because he was once in the military... "before I went berserk around all those dudes and tried to bang everybody." Jack suddenly realizes the many double entendres that escaped his lips the day before. He explains himself, adding that there is nothing gay about the Princeton fight song. As proof, he sings, "Oh, the merry men of Princeton are charging up the rear, holding all the balls--" He stops shorts and admits that he actually gets that one now. He insists that he's neither gay nor clumsy and proclaims that the producers have nothing on him that's embarrassing. Then he stands up and pulls a Mariah Carey.

Down the hall, it's time for the Jenn-tervention featuring Pete, Kenneth, in-house hair stylist Richard Esposito and Jenna's two psychics. She wails that she'll have no part of it, then excitedly commands them to write their letters.

Angie is tearing Webster a new one for a bounced check as she walks into her dressing room and finds Lemon on her computer. Seeing that her mind-trickery was a resounding flop, Lemon has gone rogue and is trying to hack Angie's computer to e-mail Tracy the following: "Tracy, as your wife, I'm ordering you to come home. The kids need you, and I want to give you all the sex things you like. For instance, doing it across the bed instead of up and down. Come home now. Sho'nuff, Angie" Angie tells Lemon to mind her business, then rips a strand of Lemon's hair out. "There's more where this came from," she says, "I'm contractually obligated to pull out some bitch's weave eight more times this season!"

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30 Rock




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