30 Rock

Episode Report Card
Lady Lola: C | 1172 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
How Lemon Spent Her Summer

Downstairs, Lemon wishes Jenna a good summer. Jenna tells her that since her rousing performance at the Wool Bowl (aired on ESPN 34), she's received an offer to be the new celebrity face of wool. Kenneth pops in to congratulate her and relay a Parcell anecdote: "Every year my aunt sends me a wool sweater for Christmas -- we get it Aunt Alice, you're a sheep!" With that, he's gone. Jenna tells Lemon the wool endorsement is so lucrative that she and Paul can "finally buy that time-share in Batostinbas, Amchnam's private sex garden. They have genetically altered men there with minotaur heads that chase you through the brambles!" Lemon gives an eye-rolling okay, then wishes goodbye to the person she realizes is her closest female friend.

She heads into the writers' room to find Frank, Lutz, Toofer, and The Other Guy playing a video game. Lemon is disappointed that they have no summer plans. Toofer corrects her that he and "David" Eggers are going to design a new font. Lemon shushes him and asks Frank about his plans with his girlfriend. Frank moans that Lynn wants him to give up video games and grow up -- "How this for growing up? Last night I put milk in my Apple Jacks!" Lemon sees that Frank's avatar died. She gloats that she distracted him, and the game is over. He says, to the contrary, that he shot his bazooka into the ground and killed himself rather than be killed by Toofer. Now he will respawn and start over again. Lemon can't believe they'd kill themselves rather than let someone win. Toofer says they've been at it for 18 hours and no kills have emerged yet. Lutz beams, "I'm wearing a diaper... like a baby would." Or a Nowak.

Lemon says she can't wait to get out of there for three months. She tells them it will be glorious, and we are treated to Lemon's fantasy of her life in the Hamptons. It's like a Nancy Meyers movie, but with more muumuus. As samba-lite music plays, Lemon takes a bite out of a tomato that she grew herself. Ina "Barefoot Contessa" Garten comes over with a tray of bruschetta and invites Lemon to her house for a glass of white wine. Lemon yells skyward, "I'm aliiiiiiive!" then climbs awkwardly over her bush to join Ina. Cut back to reality, where Lemon says the only task she has left is to pay a fine for the hate crime she committed against the tree last week, which the city has deemed Jewish. She drops her payment in the outgoing bin and starts to make a goodbye speech when she notices a peculiar look on Lutz's face. She asks what he's doing and quickly realizes the particular look can be translated to "I'm pooping." He screams, "Don't look at me!" She makes a run for the exit.

30 Rock

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