30 Rock

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How Lemon Spent Her Summer

Jack comes home to find Kenneth preparing him dinner. Kenneth says he's sorry to hear that Avery was kidnapped "by some convenience store owners" but that he can relate since the spouses of people in Stone Mountain disappear all the time, thanks to monks, hill people attacks, and cave collapses -- both business and residential. Kenneth says that he knows Jack needs help and could use a home-cooked meal. He ladles out some stew, which Jack says smells delicious. Kenneth tells him it's an old Parcell family recipe. His secret is to replace the Union soldier meat with boiled potatoes. Jack notes that he hasn't sat at the dining room table since Avery left, then says Kenneth is in Avery's chair. Kenneth gets up to move, but Jack tells him to stay there -- "You and Avery have a similar-shaped buttocks." Kenneth begins his prayers, and Jack gets a weird look in his eyes.

Hamptons. Lemon is rocking a soft pink wrap sweater and socks with sandals as she sips on a glass of wine and listens to a tape of Spanish for Older Women. The tapes moves on Lesson 12: Emergency Situations. With perfect time as the disembodied voice tells her how to say "Disaster approaching" (disastre imminente, a golf ball crashes into Lemon's glass-and-wicker table. And who sent that golf ball careening into her perfect Barefoot Hamptons life but Tracy Jordan? She asks what he's doing there, and he says, "I just bought everything around this house. It's supposed to be a nice area, except for the 'rude element' everyone keeps talking about." He continues, "Look, I got a long night of shooting guns in the air ahead of me, do you mind if I take a nap here?" Lemon realizes forlornly that she is actually having a normal summer -- chaos is her normal. Tracy warns her not to wake him up if he starts screaming because he will attack her. With that, he's full-on, snoring asleep, save for some shrieks of, "Aaaaah, wake me up! Free me from this!"

30 Rock. Kenneth knocks on Jack's door. Jack thanks him for cooking dinner the night before and tells him "It was nice to hear a woman's laugh in the house again." Kenneth lets out a girlish chortle and tells Jack, "You're bad!" Jack invites Kenneth over for another dinner that night, but Kenneth says he'll be busy giving the studio a good spring cleaning, starting with the bathroom. "There's a lot of drawings of Miss Maroney eating celery that men are giving to her with their hips." Jack ruefully takes the rain check, saying he'll be alone in a house full of memories. Kenneth chimes in, "My house is full of white cockroaches!"

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30 Rock

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