30 Rock

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How Lemon Spent Her Summer
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

We join Lemon in media res at an appointment with Dr. Spaceman, who says, "All right, now that the popsicle's melted, we've got ourselves a tongue depressor!" Lemon tells him she's been having a problem with cold sores when she gets stressed out. Dr. Spaceman tells her, "That's all right, I get them from prostitutes." Lemon starts to describe her hectic last couple of months at work, with her break-up, and that rascal of a plastic bag that symbolized her death. After he prescribes her "a little R&R -- rum and Ritalin," Lemon says a topical ointment will be fine because she's dealing with the stress by renting a cottage in the Hamptons for the summer. She only wants four things this summer: To be outdoors, wear shapeless clothing, do some mindless activity like gardening, and learn Spanish. Dr. Spacemen says there are four things he wants to do this summer... "but they're roommates, so it's tricky." He gives her a prescription for her cold sores and a blank one for the weekend, then asks why she isn't wearing pants. She tells him the other doctor told her to take them off. He chuckles that there is no other doctor, just his brother Randy, who's going to jail the next day for the rest of his life. He shouts out, "Good one, Randy! Hey, you want to go to Taco Bell for lunch?" Credits.

30 Rock. Lemon enters Jack's office armed with her most condescendingly consolatory voice. He tells her to save her pity over Avery's abduction. She tells him, "I'm tryyyying to, but I'm kind of locked innnnn. The voice is controlling me nooooow. Help meeeee?" Jack says he's been having so much trouble sleeping that he ate an entire carton of foie gras the night before and could barely bring himself to drink his morning shower scotch. He misses the little things about Avery, like how they'd go to Strawberry Fields in Central Park and kick hippies' hackysacks into the bushes. Lemon tells him he needs to make an effort to feel normal again -- normal like a woman and a woman getting married and having a child. Jack snaps back to disgust at Lemon's remark, which was exactly the point. As long as he can feel disdain for Lemon and her leftist opinions, he's still the same old Jack. She stokes the fire, calling Bush a war criminal, then grousing, "There's so much texting going on these days, and no communicating!" She puts the icing on the cake by yelling, "Carbon tax!" Jack dismisses her brusquely, and she gives him two thumbs up on the way out.

Downstairs, Lemon wishes Jenna a good summer. Jenna tells her that since her rousing performance at the Wool Bowl (aired on ESPN 34), she's received an offer to be the new celebrity face of wool. Kenneth pops in to congratulate her and relay a Parcell anecdote: "Every year my aunt sends me a wool sweater for Christmas -- we get it Aunt Alice, you're a sheep!" With that, he's gone. Jenna tells Lemon the wool endorsement is so lucrative that she and Paul can "finally buy that time-share in Batostinbas, Amchnam's private sex garden. They have genetically altered men there with minotaur heads that chase you through the brambles!" Lemon gives an eye-rolling okay, then wishes goodbye to the person she realizes is her closest female friend.

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30 Rock

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