30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now!
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Losing Your L.U.N.C.H.

Tracy rolls down the hallway at 30 Rock on one roller skate, with the help of Grizz and DotCom. He stops for candy in front of Kenneth, and explains that the roller skate is a practice wheel for when he loses his foot to diabetes. Kenneth shows alarm. He insists to Mr. Jordan that he can no longer eat candy if he has diabetes. "There's no link between diabetes and diet," says Tracy. "That's a white myth, Ken, like Larry Bird or Colorado." Soon, Kenneth is surrounded by practically every black cast member. Tracy and DotCom both don't believe diabetes and diet are related. Toofer joins the conversation. The voice of reason. He adds: "You know, there's a conspiracy theory that, after the Civil War, the U.S. government spread false information about diabetes to keep the newly freed slaves sluggish and docile, which is why, to this date, most African-Americans don't understand that diabetes is caused by sleeping on your back." Toofer walks away. "I don't think that's right," adds Kenneth. All the black people walk away from Kenneth, but then Jenna joins him. She is in character. "What can I do for you Mrs... Jimplin?" Jenna tells him that, according to Wikipedia, she needs cherry juice, buttermilk and tequila in order to make her signature cocktail "The Frank Schlong."

Jack returns from keeping company with the Six Sigmas and, rather reluctantly, asks Lemon to join him for lunch. Only, what he really means is L.U.N.C.H.: Lego Utilization for Negating Crisis Hierarchy. One of the Six Sigma's explains it Lemon. L.U.N.C.H. is a team building exercise that requires a leader to instruct his or her group members on how to construct a Lego model from a design plan only he or she can see. Lemon joins Jack's group, along with Prashant and Joan.

Back at NBC H.Q., Kenneth is in Tracy's room setting the table for a healthy dinner. Tracy walks in, instantly offended. "What's up with this disgusting stuff?" Kenneth pleads for Tracy to eat better. "N-O-E. No. E," answers Tracy. Kenneth seemingly acquiesces, but gives Grizz the underhanded "OK" sign. Then he "hears tells" Tracy the legend of The Hill Witch: a wicked 1,000-year old shriveled crone who abducts people who refuse to eat their vegetables. One look turns you to stone, and then she gorges on your living brain. "Through the stone?" asks a doubtful Tracy. Neither Tracy, Grizz nor DotCom buy his act, but Kenneth back his way out of the dressing room with a warning of the signs of her coming: "Crops will fail, animals will run wild and my page desk will be turned sideways." Toofer tells Frank to go find Maroney in her dressing room. His Wikipedia prank is working like gangbusters. Frank does, and sees Jenna pull a drink of Whiskey and then grab a cat out of a box. "Janis did it. You can do it. I'm going to do it. I'm going to eat this cat." Frank yells for her to stop. So do I, and then I turn to look at my cat, Tony, on the couch with me. He's asleep. He's so powerless. I could fucking eat him right now. What? Oh, Jenna. Frank admits to pranking her and that makes her furious. She throws a leg brace she had been reverse speed walking in at him, but then that same anger begins to work as an aphrodisiac on Frank. He likes damaged goods. Jenna likes compliments. So when Frank tells her that if she displays this kind of emotion in her performance she'll win an Oscar, Jenna jumps his bones. Frank and Jenna become the second ever 30 Rock workplace hookup, the other being Lemon and Grizz.

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30 Rock

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