30 Rock

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Michael Neal: B | Grade It Now!
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Your Sandwich, My Heart

Lemon power walks through the park only to find Floyd sitting on a bench licking on an ice cream cone. He completely lied before. There was no phone call, there was no flight, he was simply buying time to avoid having to explain himself to her. Floyd gets real. He has no idea what girl answered the phone on Lemon. "I'm single. I'm a lawyer. I wear nice coats. I'm the Michael Clayton of Cleveland." "Well I hope your car blows up," answers Lemon with the full force of her Netflix queue. "I hope you get that IKEA ... never."

Jenna squares off with Brian Dennehy in a drinking contest. Personally, I'm not sure Keith Moon could square off against Dennehy in a drinking contest but Jenna seems to be holding her own. She's fading though after 10 shots, 5 earlier and 5 during the contest, and she pleads for the others to start helping. "You can't win," says Dennehy. Just then Frank finds the lucky penny that was the root of his bacterial problems. The batteries die out on Tracy's alcohol monitor, must be the Bobby Brown edition. Kenneth smells the shot glasses and realizes it's nothing more than the milk he's been drinking as a baby. "It's on y'all." Dennehy already senses defeat.

Lemon is surprised to see a replacement teamster sandwich on her desk when she gets to work. Jack enters the break room and addresses her late arrival: "So should I ask why you're showing up for work at 6:30?" "I'm not going lie to you Jack," and then she does. "I was working from home." But she can't maintain it and clues Jack in on the entire Floyd debacle. Jack advises Lemon on life using his current crisis as a backdrop. "You're young and you still haven't blown it completely so don't start now." Lemon moans but she, and her sandwich, and her sandwich dip head to the airport.

At the 'port, as I like to call it, Lemon stops a man from behind who she thinks is Floyd. Instead the guy looks like Will Oldham. Next she buys the cheapest ticket going anywhere, which is apparently to Montreal and hurries to the metal detector area. But the sandwich bag and dipping sauce are more than 3 ounces. Lemon has to make a choice. She has to make a choice RIGHT. NOW. Lemon chooses both. She stuffs the sandwich down her mouth worse than Lutz. "I can do it," she can be heard in muffled words. "I can have it all." After the sandwich, forever know heretofore as "the great sandwich moment," Lemon darts through security and stops another man from behind who she thinks is Floyd. Instead the guy looks like a more handsome Tony Todd. Then Floyd spots her. "What are you doing here?" Lemon explains herself. She didn't mean any of the nasty threats that were hurled at Floyd's direction. Floyd asks to be friends. "I wolfed my teamster sub for you." "Wait. No. Is that a saying?" Floyd offers to give back her apartment key but she tells him to keep it. "You never know." Floyd exits to board the plane and Lemon turns around when she hears the television news mention the name Jack Donaghy. "MSNBC has confirmed that former GE executive Jack Donaghy will be named by President Bush the new Homeland Security Director of Crisis and Weather Management." Lemon's jaw drops, but it could be the crawl underneath: "Mysterious traveler from the future ..."

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30 Rock

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