Unfortunately, I don't have any "Jay Walking" skits prepared, but I do have some dictated punch lines for you. Will that make me fun and popular?
A Snack Fit for a King
Liz: Alright, Cheesy Blasters! [Singing] You take a hot dog, stuff it with some Jack cheese, fold it in a pizza -- you got Cheesy Blasters! [Stops singing] And then all the kids say, "Thanks, Meat-Cat!" And then Meat-Cat flies away on his skateboard.
Tracy: I can't eat this. I'm a foodie.
Is That Before or After You Don the Silver Sequin Glove?
Jack: Tracy, you may come from humble beginnings, but you've been rich for a long time. I think it's affecting your act.
[Flash to Tracy at a stand-up gig.]
Tracy: You know how in St. Barths people be eatin' their lobster like this -- mmm, nunununu, nunununu... [Silence.] Don't look at me in the eyes!
[Back to the restaurant.]
Tracy: Have I lost touch with my roots? I better talk to Rabbi Shmuley about this.
Does That Mean LiLo's Putting Out a Country Album Next?
Jenna: Jack, if it would help the show, I would be willing to go country.
Lemon: What does that mean?
Jenna: It's a totally legitimate career move, Liz. The best way for a lady to get heat in this industry is to either record a country album or have a lesbian relationship.
Jack: Uh, we'll start with going country. Raises sake glass To TGS. We'll teach those race car-loving wide loads into watching your lefty homoerotic propaganda hour yet!
A Predecessor of the "TCB 3.0," No Doubt
Lemon: Oh, Jack, please, don't make me look for a new cast member. You make these pronouncements on a whim, and then I --
Jack: Lemon, this is a financial necessity. Every division of the company is reaching out to the middle of the country. Our new mammogram machine is called the "Git 'er Done 2000."
Mum's the Word
Pete: Another actor? Why? They have so many feelings and opinions! ...Fine, I'll make a reservation for us at some stand-up clubs. But don't tell anyone.
Lemon: Are you kidding me? Remember when Jenna thought that blonde intern wanted to be an actress?
Intern: I'm studying acting and singing and someday I'm gonna be just like you!
Jenna smiles widely, then rips out her hoop earring.
Pete: I never did find her earlobe.
Cerie [walking in]: Know about what?