Downstairs, Danny confronts Jenna about hiring a custodian to hide in Danny's dressing room and punch his throat. The custodian totally finks on Jenna and still expects to collect his kiss. She banishes him without the kiss. Danny wonders why Jenna would want to hurt him. She says he forced her way into her solo, so Danny reveals that it was all the scheming of Pete in retribution for her refusal to chip in for the cleaning ladies' Christmas bonus. Jenna insists that she's giving them gifts herself and starts randomly pulling swag out of the gift bag from the Asian Women in Television luncheon she just attended, including but not limited to Julie Chen's energy drink, Chenergize. Then she pulls out a fancy new phone and decides to keep that one for herself. Danny snarks that she's really getting into the Christmas spirit, then has an epiphany that he finally gets sarcasm. Jenna finally breaks down and admits that she's so possessive about singing the carol on TGS because that's the one part of Christmas during her childhood that wasn't humiliating (sittings on countless Santas' laps to determine if one of them was her deadbeat dad) or illegal (distracting mall cops from her mom's shoplifting). Jenna snits that Danny's taken the one good thing about Christmas away from her. She storms out, and he snarks "Well, that went well." Then he realizes with another grin that he's really getting this sarcasm thing down.

Outside, Kenneth removes the clothes and hat from a Santa figurine, noting mournfully that he's just a Kenny Rogers doll now. Tracy marches up with the former Verdukians, who say they want to participate in Secret Santa now. Kenneth tells them it's been cancelled since he lost his faith. Toofer tries to convince them their change of heart is a Christmas miracle, but Kenneth will only accept that God exists once more if he punishes these heathens for their lies and blasphemy. Until then, he'll stay mired in his existentialism.