Over in the writers' room, two NYPD officers come looking for Toofer and Frank in connection to the bomb threat. Apparently the call was made on one of their phones. Lutz practically starts to piss himself as he renounces Verdukianism. The officer puzzles over whether he's connected to Al Qaeda and decides to tase him just to be on the safe side. Kenneth, whose crisis of faith has manifested itself as five o'clock shadow, interprets this fitting punishment as a Christmas miracle and regains his faith.
On the TV screen, Jenna and Danny continue to sing. At one particularly exuberant moment, Danny drops the tone deaf act and starts to belt out a beautiful couple of notes. Then he gets a glimpse of Jenna's death stare and returns to the tuneless ghetto.
Downstairs later, Lemon exits the building to find her old crush Larry Wilcox waiting for her. He tells her that he, as his CHiPs character Lt. John Baker, will be her date for the evening, courtesy of Jack. Lemon squeals with delight as she jumps on the highway cruiser, though she does wonder how this gift could be zero dollars. Let's just say old Jackie is going on the Naughty List this year. But I'll leave that for the jokes...
Lemon = Anti-Social Networking
Jack: The company has acquired an up-and-coming social networking site called YouFace. So each executive has to set up their YouFace page. Now this picture will be my "PhoLo" --
Lemon: Not a word!
Jack: ...which is a contraction for "photo" and "hello." YouFace: Who are YouFacing?
Lemon: No one. Those sites are for horny married chicks with kids who want to exchange pervy e-mails with their old high school boyfriends.
Jack: And since all your high school boyfriends are now gay...
Finger Tag, You're It!
Jack: I've been Finger Tagged, Lemon.
Lemon: Was it down by the subway? 'Cause I saw a gangly looking kid down there.
Jack: A Finger Tag means I've been contacted by someone else on YouFace. In this case that would be Nancy Donovan, the cutest girl at East Sandchester High School, class of 1976.
Cerie: That's the year my mom was born!
Or, As Frank Might Call It, "Naughty Santa"
Toofer: Kenneth is doing a Secret Santa fun swap thing!
Frank: Oh, he takes the two worst parts of Christmas -- giving and rules -- and combines them!
Kenneth (in flashback): And then the person with the highest person gives the smallest gift to the tallest person. If they want to switch, they cannot! Unless they do. Then everyone puts their head down, except the murderer! Oh wait, that's not right...
Frank: The whole thing was so confusing I ended up getting my own crappy gift back. Like I need two copies of Over-60 Vixens.